I want the world to know I am happy as can be

Friday, December 28, 2007




Its party time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good times, wonderful things happening, fridge full of wine and cocktail bottles, what else do I need? So, hic hic houk houk.................

Rare achievements and random questions.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Last thursday I had an exam. And it went....ahhhh....thhikthaak. Nothing extraordinary till now, you say?? I couldn't agree more. Ohh, just a small fact. Before the exam I sat tight in a effing library for three goddamned hours and, ummmm, kinda studied(*makes a straight face*). My mother didn't believe a word of this though. But I seriously did it. I did sit there inhaling the highly polluted air(the air in all libraries are, by default). For the first time in my life I spent more than ten minutes in a library. And I went about bragging about it to two people I know. One retaliated "only three hours? so whats the big deal?". Yeah! She hasn't known me long. The other person simply asked "are you alright?" Thats more like it, methinks.



I was walking around the campus this morning with my new camera in my hand. Clicking anything and everything that took my fancy. In the process I clicked the following pic. And I have been lost in thought since then.......



Should I continue with statistics? Or join the above department? Statistics, I am not so confident about. But alcohol studies, I can surely master the subject(*evilish grin*).

Apart from my future career prospects, another question's been haunting me for a few days. What more should I write in my blog? I have tried personal experiences, moral lectures, absolutely over the top cribbings, lame attempts to entertain etc. etc. What else can I try? And I came up with this. I will from now on, write film reviews too! Not all films, mind it. Only the best that there is. And, my next post will be the first of the lot. So, wait till I come back with my review of one of the most intriguing films ever made in India.........................

Tuesday, December 11, 2007




It was a dark dark place. Suddenly, a light flickered. It wasn't much of a light, though. Still, it bore promises. The wind blew hard at it. The light didn't blow out. It burst into a flame instead. Then it rained. Heavily. For months. The flames didn't die. It broke into a fire. It has been snowing since. The prolonged frigidity has taken its toll. The fire has only got brighter than ever.

And the place has only got darker. Than ever.

Random songs and Tags!

Monday, December 3, 2007

Rules:

1. Put your MP3 player on shuffle

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. You must write the name of the song no matter what. No cheating!

I got tagged by
pNuTu . I had no idea about this whole "tagging" stuff. Thanks to the lady for guiding me. The whole concept seems to be pure fun. And my grad-student life is too fun-starved to ignore this. Its also a nice way to spend a lazy sunday afternoon. So, fasten your seat belts. Here I go......

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY?” YOU SAY?

I can't breathe anymore(David Gilmour) –
that's a wonderful start!

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Ananda Sen(chandrabindoo) - uh! maybe......

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

tumi sondhyaro meghomala (Kabir Suman) –this is turning out to be
great!

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Aar jaani na(Chandrabindoo) –
should have been the answer to the next question! :P

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?


Prostuti (Kabir Suman) – for? apocalypse, maybe. :D

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

Money (Pink FLoyd) - wowwwww!!!!!! thats so kewl! :D

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Aashay aashay bose achhi(Gautam Chattopadhyay) – sorry to disappoint you guys. I don't have enough money to make ISDs. :(

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?

Dinga bhasao saagor-e(Protul Mukhopadhyay) –the surname's right I guess. And I don't get the connection. :(

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Megh kaalo aaNdhar kalo. (Hemanta Mukherjee) –
Wtf! thats typical sado-masochistic. typical me. :P

WHAT IS 2+2?

The ghost song (The Doors) -
thats surrealism at its best. B-)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Let me live (Queen) – is he that bad?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Mother (Pink Floyd) - WTF! I am not an incest for god's sake!

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Tini bridhho holen(Kabir Suman) – I oughtta use some anti-ageing creme
. Even the lappy knows! :(

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Aaguner poroshmoni(Sreekanta Acharya) -
beware all. I am Hot. :P

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Tomake dekhchhi(Kabir Suman) –
that is what I call a perfect match!

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Hallowed be thy name (Cradle of Filth) –
should have been better the other way round.

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Moron re tNuhu momo shyamosoman (Kanika Bandyopadhyay) –
my! my! this lappy's got some sense of humor!

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

aamar saadh na miTilo aasha na purilo(Pannalal Bhattacharya) – =))

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

Tora ke jabi (Debabrata Biswas) –
as in?

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Headless cross(Black Sabbath) –
I am the antichrist. B-)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Purono guitar (Anjan Dutta) –
nostalgia?

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?

Manush chena daay (Moheen-er ghoRaguli) – Thats the moral of the story folks. :D

Writing so many things has been an ordeal. So I plan on taking revenge. I tag the dreamy and the sociological siren. Shoo girls, go go.......

Uh oh erm........

Friday, November 30, 2007

One of my orkut-friends(well, we are more than just orkut-friends now) wrote this blogpost about happiness. That is, about what happiness is and how we, the mere mortals spend our lives looking for it etc etc. And she quoted some of my wise wise words in her post. Being the wise person that I am, I expect to be quoted more often. But when was this world fair enough? Ok. That wasn't the point. I was just trying to say that even I can speak loads of good shit about happiness and stuff. Just like Taran Adarsh can be a good film critic.

What? You think Mr.Adarsh writes shit? Well well, he praised "Om Shanti Om" quite highly. And THAT is reason enough to make him a good film critic.


A few days back I was watching this slasher flick. And I reallized that I had always wanted to be a serial killer.



And thats the first step towards it. I have toiled much to make myself look like the most happening serial killer in India now. By the way, that guy has an unique way of killing people. Guess how? With his over the top music and nauseating nasal tone. Add to that his fine array of adjectives which consists of "excellent, mind blowing, fantastic, wonderful" and rebellious dressing sense. I can swear, he will kill you for sure and that too, in style.


Ok, its two in the morning and my thought process is far from being coherent. One of these days I am going to die of overdose. Of sleep, that is. But the brave knows no bounds. So I am off to sleep once again. With a promise to come back soon, with something darker. Much on my usual line. Till then, adios!

The disgruntled onlooker's insight into the life(or whatever) in the USA

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Part III: Rated R.

One fine evening when I was in the middle of a very interesting class(well, the lecture was not very interesting. But the blog that I was reading on my laptop was, quite), my phone rang. Rather started vibrating. Now, I don't exactly know how girls who keep their cellphones in jeans pockets feel when it vibrates. I would definitely like to know. Although only for the sake of increasing my general knowledge. But let me tell you this, its not quite a nice feeling for a guy. It sort of sends down shivers through one's ba*ls(remember the post is rated R). So I couldnot sit through it, went out of the class and took the call. A heavily accented American lady verified my name and kept on uttering loads of gibberish of which I could make no head nor tail. After a few minutes I heard "you get a free Playboy or a free Maxim magazine every month". Elated, I promptly said "yes! yes!". And the lady hung up. For those imbecile dimwits who have no clue as to what "Playboy" and "Maxim" are, I promise a pictorial tutorial at the end. For the others, its just a bait to make you read through to the end. Hee haw!

Two days later I received a letter stating that I had agreed on a contract with some publishers to receive 4 magazines for a period of 60 months in exchange of 17$ a month. Of course I had no idea of this. And it was also mentioned that I get a free "Playboy" magazine each month alongwith those 4. I, with a heavy heart, called them up and explained that I don't have any needs for any magazine. And there went my contract. And my free "Playboy" too. I, for once, considered asking if I get to keep the free "Playboy" but decided against it. Good senses prevail, they say.

Now, I practice what one of my well-wishers taught me. Whenever the phone rings and I pick it up to hear a heavily accented American voice, I promptly say "call back later, I am having sex!".

Ohhhh! Here are the pictures...........






P.S:
Ahhh! To get one of those free!! I mean the magazines, not the girls :-P The girls wouldn't hurt though.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

I was swooning with delight yesterday. This morning all the yayness died as I was hit with another bout of loose motion. Now, thats what I call hitting under the belt. Since then I have been living on a generous diet of nun chinir shorbot and "meklin" pills. Somehow the beef sandwiches don't agree with me. They just don't. For no apparent reason. This is the third time this has happened. And I am not sure if this is the last. At least not till I have those "buy one get one free" coupons for beef sandwiches.

Yesterday was great , though. I turned an year older(sob sob!). Only a few remembered. And fewer called. Most importantly, they all were people who I wished would call. Or remember. I bunked classes. Remained indoors all day. Spent a lot of time thinking, staring blankly at the television, reading and watching two Bunuel films. Didn't even bother cooking. Ordered one beef sandwich for lunch(yippeee! I got another free) alongwith french fries and coke. My Albanian flatmate went on a date with an Albanian girl and after coming back, jokingly said "the girl asked to say hello to you". I answered "what else did she say? that I have the longest d**k she has ever had?". To this the guy didn't reply. Then I drank a little whiskey, alone, to my health. That didn't help though. But still, the whiskey I enjoyed. And went to sleep(which was hampered by the aforementioned bout). Overall, this has been one of the best birthdays I have had. And, I am sure I will be having quite a few similar birthdays in the forthcoming years. To that, Amen!

Wednesday, November 7, 2007


A very happy birthday. To me. From me. Yay!!!!!!!

Monday, October 29, 2007



No matter how he tried,
He could not break free.
And the worms ate into his brain.

Land Ho!

Thursday, September 27, 2007


Hopes.


Futility.


They go hand in hand. Sadly.


But the joker parties on! And the fool removes things from tabletop-s and laptops.


Words.


Memories.


Emotions.


Three things you cannot wipe off. For everything else there's toilet paper.


And still the joker sings merrily. And the fool shouts "Land ho!" in midsea. The world pretends that he's right.

The disgruntled onlooker's insight into the life(or whatever) in the USA

Friday, September 14, 2007

Part II : Of whiskey, hotchicks and pain





Okay. That’s what a lot of whiskey does to me. Now, don’t laugh. Or else I may cut you into two. Hnu hNu baawa!


As for hot chicks, I have got two very serious reasons for not uploading any photos. First, this space is too limited for all of them(And alas! My kind self can't tolerate to see any one tight-ass big-bosomed beauty being preferred to another). Second, I generally, while taking pictures, concentrate on other parts of their body than the faces. So some people might even find those innocent pictures a bit "aesthetically jarring".


Huh! If you thought that I would again start my usual teary-eyed "raindrops keep falling" stuff with the pain part, this time I have you fooled. Yippee! The pain comes roughly twice a day. Once when you have to eat something for the lunch and once again when you have to take dinner. Cooking is a serious concern. For people like me, who have always had plates full of wonderful food put in front of them(even when you don't exactly feel hungry) by loving mothers and grandmothers, it is even worse. Believe me. Even if you are starving, the very thought of cooking something for yourself can be very disconcerting. In one way, actually it can be good. Oversized PIGS(poor Indian graduate students) who can't afford to eat out regularly and who can't manage to cook regularly, it actually helps them to reduce some extra flab. In maximum scenarios, the survival factor : MAGGI!!!!!!!!! And yes, I can cook very tasty maggi, that too in three different flavors!


P.S: That's where I go if I don't feel like cooking. Sometimes I go there even if I feel like cooking, if there's a generous friend hanging around with me.

The disgruntled onlooker's insight into the life(or whatever) in the USA

Sunday, September 2, 2007




Part I: A different dawn


17th August, 2007. The day before, i.e 16th, was an important day. Very important. Not only because it was my mother’s birthday but for some other reasons too. The night of the 16th was stormy. But not a storm that everyone could see or feel. It even rained. But again, not the sort of rain everyone would be drenched in. As the storm and the rain subsided slowly in blissful sleep, it started to rain even harder. Only this time, the whole city was wet. The rain continued as I reached the airport around 5 in the morning( As someone later pointed out, I could have written that the city wept because I was leaving. But that is too melodramatic, too much me. So I deliberately decided not to write it). When I checked in, the sun was slowly coming out of the clouds. Then, a long and tiresome and uneventful journey punctuated by red wines and vodkas and whiskeys on the rocks. And about 30 hours later I was standing on a wooden verandah in a house in New Jersey. Watching the sky reddening. Watching the sun coming out once again. Only this time, an American sun on an unknown sky marking a different dawn. And for the first time in those 30 hrs the feeling sank in. I knew I was away from home. I knew I was not going back soon. And it rained once again. Inside.





P.S: This has been long due. Perhaps too long. Especially for someone like me who cribbed a lot about the usual leaving-ones-city-and-roots-and-going-abroad stuff. That too, publicly. May be even to some people’s dismay. But settling down in a new place, getting your internet connection up and working, cooking and above all, getting into a mood for writing, surely takes up a hell lot of a time. That is more or less what delayed this.




Friday, July 27, 2007



Once upon a time, there were three brothers. They embarked upon a journey together. Days passed, weeks, months. And one morning they saw a beautiful fountain ahead. As they went nearer they saw an extremely beautiful girl sitting by the fountain. On seeing the three brothers, the girl said “my name is Beauty. Come hither and speak of what you think of me”. The eldest moved forward and said “my name is Any one and as he sees your breathtaking beauty, Any one wonders if he could make love to you”. Then, the younger brother moved forward and said “my name is Some one and as he sees your beautiful eyes, Some one thinks if could marry you and have children with you.” Then the youngest brother moved forward and said “my name is No one and as he sees your most charming self, No one thinks he doesn’t desire but only loves you.”

To this Beauty answered “Any one desires me, Some one wants me and No one loves me. I could have embraced Any one, married Some one. But I have decided to love No one.”

Aamar shohor

Saturday, July 21, 2007

I love you more and more each day as time goes by.......Bertie Higgins.

I have only a few days left in Calcutta(yes, I prefer Calcutta to the more bengalified Kolkata
) and as the day approaches, slowly but steadily, the above song keeps coming back to my already pissed mind. Yeah! Pissed!! Thats what I am. Everyone around would expect me to be beaming with joy, thrilled at the prospects of a whole new world, lost in the eternal American dream. But I already miss my city.

Ret-e mosha din-e machhi
Ei niye Kolketay achhi..............Kobi Ishwar Gupta.


The 21 years that I have spent in Calcutta(+2 in a goddamned Kanpur, that makes me 23. Sigh!!!), every single day has been like a whole lifetime. Every person I have met, every place I have visited has a special memory attached to it. Sometimes it seems as if nothing about this city is ordinary. Be it the extremely messy traffic jams, the hartals, the numerous fairs going on all throughout the year, the waterlogged streets, the festivals .........every other thing about Calcutta seems to be weaving a magic touch on my otherwise ordinary life. Sometimes a healing touch. A walk amidst the book stalls in college street, the fragrances of new and old books in my veins have often calmed a brewing storm. Many a fond memories have been chalked on the ragged old carpets of Olypub(Ahhhh! Oly!!!! More on it later). On the alleys of this city I walked alone, made friends and foes alike, did what I didn't mean to, lost what I never knew if I wanted or not ............in Calcutta I found what I long for, most.

Ei shohor jaane amar prothom sobkichhu
Palate chai joto, se aase amar pichhu pichhu.............Kabir Suman.


This city has made me what I am today, it knows me inside out. And I have tried all these years to know her, to be one with her. And now when I will be leaving for New Jersey in a few days, I don't miss my parents as much as I miss her. There would be quite a few raised eyebrows on hearing that. But the greener pastures I am leaving for, promise me a better future when I can, in all probablities afford to have my parents by my side anywhere in the world. But with all the moolah in the world raked in, I won't be able to have even a tiny piece of Calcutta around me. That very thought hurts!! Muchly. And I want to come back. Desperately. Even before I've left. Maybe its my roots calling. Maybe my soul. Which strays along the roads of the city, wherever I am.

A (very)short story

Tuesday, July 17, 2007





His beloved mother often accused him of being forgetful. Little did she know, how he spent his days yearning to forget.

He has always likened himself to a rock. Has always tried to take life as it comes. Pain, happiness, solitude, he received all with a nonchalant look in his eyes. But deep down, he longed. Longed with all his might for what he had no hope of acquiring. And at times when it bore down on his mind, he wished that he could forget everything. Every damn thing!! But then, forgetfulness is a bliss. And he was not blessed.

False accusations, he thought.


Naive old lady, he laughed.


"Bless me, o God!!!!!!!", he cried.



Disclaimer: Likenesses to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental.

Two sides of a coin....

Wednesday, July 11, 2007




Life can be funny. Peculiar, to be exact. This morning my blissful sleep(induced by the huge amount of intoxicants I gulped down the previous evening, ahhhh, that reminds me of Oly, what a place!!!!!) was hit by a row of shrill cries and moanings and I woke to find that the ninety year old lady who lived next door had died. It felt quite strange. To start the day with a death. Though I wasn't very close to her, I have been seeing her standing on the barandah and talking with everyone who chanced upon to pass that way, from my very childhood. I sort of got used to her. Everytime I left my home for some errand, I heard her asking kothay cholle baba? She, her questions and her time out in the barandah had almost become a part of my daily routine. The instant my mother informed me of her death, the first thing to strike me was there would be no more questions from tomorrow. Maybe, felt a little sad too. In the afternoon when I was going out for my driving lessons I saw her body being taken to the burning ghaats in a car. The bed they carried her on was decorated with rajanigondha flowers. I stopped for a while, looked at the scene, paid a silent tribute to her soul and walked out of the golly. And there it was!! Another scene that hit me instantly. The decorator just opposite the golly was at his work, vehemently decorating a wedding car. And he used flowers to do so. Rajanigondha flowers. I pondered over the scene for a moment. Thought of the different facets of life. Smirked. Laughed a little. And went away to my work.
Huh!
Life indeed can be funny. Peculiar, to be exact.

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy........

Monday, July 9, 2007





Yeah! One of the very few things that make me happy is sunshine. On my shoulders ala John Denver. Especially after the insanity in the name of rainfall that we had last week. Its a real relief to see the sun burning bright. Although much of that tends to ruin my complexion.

And yes, the real reason for me being happy is, sunshine means I can again wander around happily all over the city. Ohhh, did i mention being able to meet people more regularly?

FUQ (few unanswered questions)

A new blog. A new horizon. Lots of new ideas. Few, that will be executed. Maybe none. Then why the toil? Maybe because it always feels good to start afresh. Not only a blog, but life, in general. Maybe because it feels even better to fool a lot of people with random shit written purposefully. Or maybe just because I don't have anything better to do. You would never know. You wouldn't need to know, rather. You would probably come by someday, see some pictures, read some lines, leave an unnecessary comment and leave. You won't even notice the fagments of my life, my mind scattered all over this place. But then, it's better that way.