Elfin void

Square one

2011-12-31T04:41:00.001+05:30

So, the tumblr experiment was epicfail. Not that I didn't write on the other blog. I just couldn't figure out tumblr. But then a friend said that tumblr was way easier to figure out than blogger. That probably confirms my hunch that I am indeed slow. I knew it all along. While the world thought that the slowness was confined to Milan Kundera's books or my running on sports fields, there was a part in me that suspected otherwise. But that brings us nowhere, does it now? If I knew I was slow, how could I be slow? I again suspect that one day I shall start resembling Bertrand Russell.

As far as resemblance goes, I was watching television while I was home in Calcutta (which again is quite astonishing given the fact that my dad always holds the remote tight in his hands and falls asleep), and I couldn't help but notice that this famous bengali actor totally resembles the wild boars in Asterix comic books. Without the horns that is. I am in no way implying that the actor is not horny or kinky. That I have no way of knowing. Or so I atleast hope.

As for the word "kinky", it can be traced back to the famous rock 'n roll band from the 60's called "The Kinks". Now, why they called themselves that, no one had any idea. But they sure knew what they were doing because soon enough one of them (probably someone called kink) developed certain kinks in their ways and wrote a whole song for a transvestite. Henceforth, anyone who wrote songs for transvestites are known as kinky.

Last but not the least, the title. If I was writing a book, I would never use that. You know, square one is one itself. And given the fact that paper is so expensive nowadays, it is always advisable to use one instead of square one. Saves atleast a word. After all, its only words and words are all we have to take your minds away from the otherwise seriously mundane and mundanely serious matters of life. And now I am quoting pop bands. I am telling you this is not a good year.

Dialogue pura filmi hain

2010-03-22T22:55:00.003+05:30

I was tagged by The Adlibber. The original purpose of this tag was to select some of my favorite film quotes and enter the selection for some dumb contest for winning a free copy of some dumber book written by a dumberer man. Since I refuse to associate myself with such atrocities, I will just restrict myself to enlisting my favourite quotes. Which in itself is a particularly tough job. Especially with all the Tarantinos and Lumets and Allens writing films. And also with the other Marx coming up with the best one liners ever with every passing breath. But I will still give it a try.

So, here we go...

1) Don Lope de Aguirre : I, the wrath of God, will marry my own daughter and with her I'll found the purest dynasty the earth has ever seen. I am the wrath of God. Who else is with me? (Aguirre, der zorn Gottes. Which was originally shot in English and then dubbed in German)

2) Travis Bickle: Loneliness has followed me my whole life. Everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's lonely man. (Taxi Driver)

3) Blondie: You see in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend. Those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig. (The Good, the Bad and the Ugly)

4) Professor Wagstaff: Whatever it is, I'm against it. (Horse feathers)

5) Rick Blaine: We'll always have Paris. (Casablanca)

6) Lt. Aldo Raine: Each and every man under my command owes me one hundred Nazi scalps. And I want my scalps. And all y'all will git me one hundred Nazi scalps, taken from the heads of one hundred dead Nazis. Or you will die tryin'. (Inglourious Basterds)

7) Harry Callahan: I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk? (Dirty Harry)

8) Allan : That's quite a lovely Jackson Pollack, isn't it?

Museum girl: Yes, it is.
Allan: What does it say to you?
Museum girl: It restates the negativeness of the universe. The hideous lonely emptiness of existence. Nothingness. The predicament of Man forced to live in a barren, Godless eternity like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void with nothing but waste, horror and degradation, forming a useless bleak straitjacket in a black absurd cosmos.
Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?
Museum girl: Committing suicide.
Allan: What about Friday night?

(Play it again, Sam)

9) Terry Malloy: You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am. (On the waterfront)

10) Cody Jarrett: Made it 'Ma, top of the world! (White heat)

11) The Joker: Why, SO serious? (The Dark Knight)

12) Dr.Hannibal Lecter: A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. (Silence of the lambs)

13) President Muffley: Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room! (Dr.Strangelove or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb)

14) James Bond: The name's Bond, James Bond.

15) The Terminator: Hasta la vista, baby! (Terminator II: Judgment day)

P.S: Anyone reading please feel free to tag yourselves. And let me know so that I can go read and make snooty remarks.

Ode to a city.

2010-03-15T10:28:00.000+05:30

Part III. The City of lost souls.

The city never belonged to us. Nor to anyone else. Ever. But we still hung on, didn't we?

There were children playing on the streets, there were men and women making love on the fields, there was love in every breath of the city. The guitarist played a sad tune, the visitor sniffed the moist air, the hobo sang of unfulfilled promises as every heart skipped a beat for love. Mon amor, this was a city of love, a city where everyone fell in love, a city everyone fell in love with. But then, as the cars hissed by, so did sordid moments. And then suddenly, we were left with gin and tonic. But why, but why my love did it have to go wrong every time? Just where did we go wrong?

Aeons ago, we were still humans. We were still lovers walking around this same city, my love. We dreamt of moonlit nights and dancing around bright fires. The rooftops of all the buildings seduced us like centerfolds, the dark nooks kept lovely surprises hidden. We shared smokes, we raised our wine glasses and our moist lips spoke of beautiful futures. We forgot we had suffered. We forgot the city eluded us in the past. And we forgot that what is future but reliving the past once again. Just as we made love in the heart of the city, the roads were flooded once again. The city swept us apart like leaves in a storm. But why? We had still not learnt, had we?

For what is it to love you without loving this city first? What is it to sing of you without writing the hymns for her? We all did embrace her. The city is but our first love. The window sills beckoned us, the solitary streetlamp lulled us into deep slumber. We looked for rest into her gardens, we found life in her labyrinthine alleys. The city made us humans, the city always gave birth to us. Just like a messiah she always showed us the ways of love. And yet when we learnt to love her, we held to her close. Just as we did to each other. Smelling one another's pheromones, we slept in tight embraces. The one thing we didn't know, the one thing that mattered most. That when we loved, the only thing left was to give up. Why didn't you let go my love, why didn't I? Of each other, of the city?

And the city never belonged to us. Nor to anyone else. Ever. Neither did we belong together. It is but a city of lost souls. And we my love, walked it together.

Ode to a city.

2010-02-19T08:04:00.000+05:30

Part II: The City of strangers.

Would you know me, my love, if you saw me again? Would you? Would I know you?

The city has always beckoned us. The wet reflections of a neon on a pavement, the sad demureness of a yellow light on a lonely cobbled street, the darkness of its unexplored labyrinths; they all have beckoned us. And I, and you, and we all have given in. We have all walked the streets of the city. With each other, with friends, with family and in loneliness, we have all walked the streets of the city. We have sat on every park bench, looked at every man, turned all the corners. We have. But still the city remains a stranger, the people remain strangers to us.

My love, we were strangers once. We looked at each other from faraway lands, we looked for familiarity through dreamlike fogs. We passed each other on the pavements, our hands touching just a little bit. And we stared in crowded subways at the one standing right in front. We longed for us, didn’t we? But then all strangers do. That is the beauty of being one. All strangers seek another, look around for fondness. So did we, my love. We were strangers once indeed. And you took me in, I embraced you. And we spent the night on the large terrace, staring at the lights of the city. We made love like strangers, and lost ourselves in deep slumber. Dreaming of the city, dreaming of familiarity and the lost magic. We slept, hoping to see a different face by us in the morning light.

This city, is a city of strangers. I don’t know anyone, nor do you. No one knows us. But then, when we pass a coffeeshop, browse through a bookstore or just lift our heads to steal a glance at that woman on the other side of the road, do we still remain strangers? Somewhere in my mind, somewhere back down there, there always will be a moment when I passed that coffeeshop, or when I looked at the woman. Somewhere in her mind, will remain a memory of me. Then, do we not leave a part of us in every building we pass, every man we look at? Is it not familiarity? But we go on, we go on. We go on collecting memories, bits and pieces of people around us and we become a new person every passing moment. Transience, my love, is the only form of permanence. The city teaches me this. Every night I walk down the same old street, amidst the same old faces, and still it’s all new to me. The magic remains forever, floating like an impish fairy in that empty space between us. The magic remains in the air. And we, my love, remain strangers forever. To us, to the city.

I wouldn’t know you, my love, if I saw you again. You wouldn’t know me. And we will be trapped in the arms of the city forever.

Ode to a city.

2010-02-11T21:15:00.001+05:30

Part I: The City of lights

And the city never sleeps.

Have you seen the lights, my love, have you seen the lights ever? Did you stare at the neon and think of the river of dreams? I once saw a picture of a woman standing on the city roads. The cars whizzed past her in indistinguishable blurs. The swarm of blurs surrounding her on a busy street, she stood by a river, didn’t she? Oh, images, images. How they rush into my head and make it uninhabitable. I once was a happy man. I have not known the city then. My friend used to say, it’s the most beautiful city in the world and I didn’t believe him. Then I went there. I walked her streets on broad daylight. And when the sun went down, the sun never did go down. It was after all, the city of lights.

My love, I have never walked this city, your hand in mine. My feet always looked for another, a whole lot smaller, pair of feet beside mine. I seeked. I did not find. I tried to shield myself from the daylight, I closed my eyes. With outstretched arms, I roamed about. Instead of you, only the city embraced me. The lights blinded me, o sweet blindness I love thee, I couldn’t see the city anymore. Instead, I felt it. I felt it, my love, as I have felt you all these days, with all my senses. I smelt your sweet pheromones, I touched your navel. Blood gushes, the flesh turns crimson red. The blinking blue lights make it purple. The flesh rots, the wound burns. The stink fills the air, the smoke clouds the billboards. The pain, the love drips into the cityscape slowly.

There’s always a dark corner, hidden amidst the bright streets. Always, well almost. I take a turn, look back and there it is, staring back at me. For me, darkness has always been important. I wouldn’t have known how light felt without it. Imagine yourself in the middle of a thousand searing lights, you close your beautiful eyes and suddenly a shower of blissful darkness, a sudden refuge from the world, from all the people. Isn’t it wonderful, my love? If not for darkness, how would one dream of landscapes and lost loves? The city always has a dark corner, amidst the bright streets. Have you seen them? Have you seen the lights ever, my love? Come, if you haven’t, come not to me, but to the city. Come to it on a rain soaked evening, the lights forming unworldly images in the little puddles of water, come to it in the daylight. It will give you light, it will give you darkness, it will give you respite. And probably, dreams. Then you can weave your own river, just as I am, now. Come, my love, to the city of lights.

The city that never sleeps.

Courtesy

2010-01-30T15:19:00.002+05:30

I believe the words "curtsy" and "courtesy" convey almost the same meaning. Which I find funny since "curt" and "curtsy" does not go well together. But that is entirely beside the point. So is the fact that once I posted a picture of me sporting very impolite gestures as my profile picture in Orkut and changed my profile name to "Get curter". Let not the reference die on you because the Michael Caine version is quite a good film. But let us untangle ourselves from paltry wordplays and concentrate on more serious matters. Which obviously has something to do with courtesy or the lack of it. Or even worse, the excess of it.
Ever since we started going to school(read found us all by ourselves in treacherous social circles), the word "courtesy" have been hanging just in front of our noses. Quite like the carrot that a famous poet hung in front of his pet donkey. Let me make myself very clear at this juncture that I do not by any means intend to call anyone a donkey. Not even a donkey. That again is courtesy according to Mr.Vidyasagar. And also, nowadays people sue others at the blink of an eye. Which is absolutely true cause I heard of this woman who sued a man who blinked at the woman's child. She thought the man was making sexual advances. Anyway, as I was telling, "courtesy" is something we have been taught from a very early age. Even in India. But a walk around any Indian city doesn't suggest so. You can see the autowallahs happily cursing the passengers, the passengers shouting at bus conductors, the conductors swearing at cows. Its quite a circle. And for those who wonder, yes the cows in India are not very courteous too. Even they shout. Or occasionally run at unsuspecting pedestrians. But one gets used to such atrocities quite fast. I think growing up in it helps. It doesn't take one much effort to sneeze loudly in a public bus and not apologize at all.
But its different here in the US. I don't know about Europe. But US, yes its very different. Here people actually remember the courtesy tips they teach at school. Though they don't much care about the geography of the world or basic algebra, courtesy they know very well. Everyone is going to hold a door open for you, everyone is going to smile at you and ask how you were doing. They would all stare if you belch, farting is almost sin and blurting out "Thanks" is a protocol. And somehow, I find this more disconcerting than ever. In India, not everyone you meet in the streets smile and ask how are you. But the ones that do, mean it. They actually stop, ask about your well being and make some conversation. But here, everyone goes by the rulebook. They open the door because it says so in the books, they ask "how do you do?" and walk away without even waiting for the answer. A smile never gets you a smile back. Rather it may get you a lawsuit. Its a strange sense of courtesy they have here. And if you are staying here, they make you do it too. They mould you in such a way that even when you are alone in a bathroom and sneeze, you will say "Excuse me". Quite frightening, I must say.
And that sneezing and saying "excuse me" in a deserted bathroom happened to me. That is actually what I wanted to write about. All the introduction, observations and everything is, you know, just courtesy.

2010-01-27T09:29:00.003+05:30

Ah the glory days are gone. The blog which once was invaded by women is now the grazing field for rampant spammers. The cruel hands of time have taken away all that there was and etc. Ok, Happy New year, Happy Swami Vivekananda's birthday, Happy Subhas Bose's birthday, Happy Republic day and whatever else that has passed in between. Its good to be back.

Note: Dear spammers, I can get it up myself without much difficulty. In other occasions, a female touch is sufficient. So, please go sell your erectile dysfunction drugs at worthier places.

2009-12-13T01:37:00.001+05:30

What is true Freedom?

2009-11-09T07:23:00.004+05:30

Another one goes by. I had cake, lots of chicken, double choco chip cookies, awesome people treating me in a restaurant, some phone calls and a mail. And ignorance. At the end of the day, I am a year older and still not any wiser. So I guess, happy birthday to me.

P.S: All the recent visit entries are from Germany and these people have been visiting a particular post. So either I am suddenly very popular in Germany or Megan Fox is. I suspect the second though.

2009-10-26T13:29:00.000+05:30

Almost the nicest day in a long long time :)

2009-10-12T09:04:00.002+05:30

Its been a month today. And I keep staring at the phone.

Where was I again...

2009-10-08T01:29:00.004+05:30

Princeton is a beautiful little town. The University buildings, the dorms, the narrow alleyways and even the restrooms in restaurants look nice. With all that gothic architecture and all. And I don't even know what gothic architecture is. In fact, I don't have the slightest idea about what the term "gothic" means or refers to. But that doesn't quite hinder me from reading "gothic" romance novels and discussing them in detail with English Literature students or even claiming the vampire Count Dracula to be a "gothic" romantic hero. The only thing that comes to my mind in reference to "gothic" is a particular Asterix comic book where the duo beats up some goths other than their usual beating-the-romans session. Speaking of Asterix, my friends from my "paRa"(Neighborhood or neighbourhood, take your pick. Even red riding hood is okay with me, especially after I found out that she can actually beat Spiderman and Wolverine in a fight)used to call me Asterix in spite of the fact that I more closely resembled Obelix. Or Dogmatix, as some of my present acquaintances would suggest. Later they just used to call me "Asto". And I still remember one day when a friend asked me "Asto re, jabi?" and I absent mindedly asnwered "Astor-e jaoar moton poysa nei." But to come back to the original point, Princeton is a very pretty place. And almost all the cab drivers there are from Haiti, which is a strange place in itself because apparently a lot of people there have "prophet" as a surname! Cab rides in Princeton is fun, especially if there is an Indian, two Italians, one Taiwanese and one Haitian(I am not sure if that is actually a word)in it, discussing why "ciao" means both greetings and goodbye in Italy. So yeah, there you go.

2009-09-18T00:09:00.002+05:30

Some people have always told me that I am a masochist. But I have had no reason to believe them. Btw, yesterday I wrote "believe" as "beleive" and did not even reallize my mistake for a long time. Shows that irregular blogging can take a toll on your spelling skills. Anyway, as I was saying some people have always told me that I am a masochist. But I have had no reason to believe them.Until a few days ago. It so happened that one particular evening, I was pretty bored and had nothing to do. Which is quite a regular thing to be honest. So I decided to watch a film. Which is again a quite regular thing. And of all the films in my hard disk, I decided to watch Rituparno Ghosh's "Dosar: The companion". In spite of my roommate's sincere warnings. I am in no mood to speak of how I felt later on. And also just because I like to hop around the house or beat my chest around midday, my roommate thinks I need therapy. People are so inconsiderate!

Snippets

2009-08-26T21:07:00.002+05:30

1) An obscenely fat woman sat on a side lower berth of Rajdhani Express, dressed in a nightie or maxi or whatever it is called, her hair open, her biceps showing menacingly as she looked at me and licked her fingers. First time in a train, I spent a sleepless night and later reallized Takashi Miike looks for inspirations at all the wrong places.

2) Delhi was great. Old school friends cooking machhbhaat for me, fellow film buffs, kebabs and biriyani from Tundai, Signature alongwith fishfries and lots of films on my hard disk. And I finally learned to stand up to everything.

3) The flight was long and quite uneventful barring the incredibly hot air hostesses in tight red skirts and the weird steward who on being asked to get me a whiskey on the rocks, smiled inappropriately and said "on the rocks? how cool is that!".

4) Turns out that having conversations with Albanian cab drivers about communists and Bollywood only results in paying more tip than you usually do. Not cool.

5) And I still haven't found a place to stay. I guess I will have to stay with the people I am staying with right now. They are very good people. Only that they decide to fight with anti-flu sprays and mosquito repellants in the morning and reallize at the middle of the night that they need something to eat and they are out of rations. Its kinda fun though.

81st post

2009-08-10T22:42:00.003+05:30

When I was a student in elementary school, the number 10, to me, was the sign of completeness. I would do whatever work was assigned by my mother and after finishing them successfully, would not be pleased until she came and assured me that my effort was worth a 10 out of 10. Not 100, not 1000, not anything else but 10. And 9 just preceeding 10, was the sign of incompleteness to my naive mind. That is when I developed a peculiar liking for the number 81. I have never known why, but I have always loved this number. Whenever someone has asked me to pick a number between 1 to 100(which was quite a no. of times as one of my relatives is a numerologist), I have picked 81 most no. of times. Later, my mind has reasoned that since 9 was a sign for incompleteness to me, 9 squared(which is 81 btw, for the mathemetically challenged, which I am sure there are quite a few amongst my blog readers) was perhaps a symbol for the completely incomplete man that I have grown to be(yes, I have never worn a Raymonds suit). Anyways, I hope everyone gets the drift by now. I mean, this is my blog's 81st post, and I am visbly quite excited about it. So excited that I forgot what I wanted to write about cows. Yes, I did want to write something about cows. But I cant remember what it was about the tame bovine creatures that intrigued me so. Maybe sometime later when my memory stops failing me, I shall. Till then, keep your valuable comments coming about why I end up writing "everythong" or "somethong" instead of "everything" or "something" every damned time. Please to avoid cliches like Freudian slips. I mean, did Freud ever wear slips? Now that is something worth pondering over. So I will, for now.

2009-08-02T13:04:00.002+05:30

The Delhi trip was a lot of fun. And strangely it has made me numb. Not that I am too comfortable with it. But it helps. Numbness brings peace along. And I could do with a little peace right now.

2009-07-17T23:14:00.002+05:30

Someday I shall taste freedom. Till then I will make do with silence.

With silence comes peace, with peace comes freedom, with freedom comes silence... PoF

To Sir, with love

2009-07-14T23:39:00.000+05:30

Long ago when I was still just about 5 feet tall, lanky and a teetotaller(not to mention thirteen years old), I first knew competiton. In academics. Our mathematics teacher introduced me to it. The man was originally a chemistry teacher. But he managed to teach us algebra in the seventh standard with equal ease. He used to assign us algebra problems in class and the first student to complete them successfully, got a "very good" in his/her exercise book. This small prize made such fierce competitors out of us, that I still remember pushing my then best friend down and running so that I got the "very good" on my notebook. One whole year of this and I ended up with the most number of "very good"s in the whole class. He never taught us maths again. Instead, he taught us chemistry. Which I was also good at, but not extraordinarily good. I was better at talking in the class, fighting behind his back and all such other noble deeds. He caught me more than just a few times. All I got was "Ah, Suddha, why do you do such things?" Considering the man's reputation for beating up even girls when he was disturbed, that was a bit of something. Few years down the line, as we moved up to the eleventh standard, I decided to leave school. For another school, ofcourse :| The news was duly conveyed to him. He smiled and wished me luck. New school was yet to begin, so I was still attending classes in the old school. One fine morning, me and another classmate ran into his chemistry lab class 10 minutes late. The classmate got a severe piece of his mind but I was let off. On being asked why was I let off, he just smiled and said "Whats the use of scolding him? He's going to leave us anyway." Later that day, in a chemistry theory class, he came upto me, stood by my side for a little, put a hand on my shoulder and said "You are really going to leave us, aren't you? Please don't." I couldn't say a thing. Instead, I just tried to hold the tears off.
I have been a student for the last twenty two years. I have come across a lot of teachers. Some I liked, some I didn't. Some liked me, most didn't. But there never was another who loved me more than him. And there never was another who gave me something more valuable than he did. Now, when a friend calls me up and says "Sir is seriously ill" or when the man himself looks up at me and says "Ese dekhe jaas bNeche roilam na more gelam(come and see if I am alive or not)", I cannot hold back the tears. I know, he won't read this ever. But this is just to let him know that we all are with him, we will do anything within our powers to get him better. Anything. This is to you, Sir. Get well. Mighty soon.

2009-07-03T23:59:00.002+05:30

Is it a sin to be sad at someone's happyness? Someone you care for, someone you love? Is it madness to want to hurt that person for being happy? Even if it is, I couldn't care less. I can't help the insanity. I can't. Not anymore.

2009-06-17T14:06:00.001+05:30

I just don't have the strength to let go. And somewhere deep down, maybe, I don't want that strength too.

Armageddon

2009-05-07T12:57:00.004+05:30

Come 27th May, all roads will lead to Rome. Come 27th May, the Colosseum will spring into life once again. The gladiators are coming back. They are coming back to fight for the ultimate glory. Come 27th May, it will be a night of magical football and the world will know which is the best team of them all.

And as a true Mancunian I could only sing ... glory glory ManUtd and the Reds go marching on.

The seer.

2009-05-03T11:15:00.002+05:30

Guru, tumi na thakle mairi cinema dekha shikhtam na. Happy budday-te amar torof theke

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYXKbnP0D0U&feature=related

:D :D :D :D

2009-04-27T09:50:00.002+05:30

To have not seen the films of Ray is to have lived in the world without ever having seen the moon and the sun......Akira Kurosawa.

There are films that you have seen innumerable times but still wouldn't miss another show. "Charulata" is one such film. Ray himself claimed it to be his most complete work. I don't know about that, I mean there are other films like "Protidwondi" and "Jana Aranya" and "Kanchenjunga" which I find much more riveting and compelling than "Charulata". But the latter has a simplistic appeal to it that I have always found quite irresistible. And now, after I chanced to catch a special big screen viewing in Lincoln Centre, NYC, I am nothing but mesmerized by the intricate charm of it. Madhabi Mukherjee looked simply stunning on the big screen. And IMHO, she owes a lot of it to the brilliant camerawork. For all the times I have watched the film on television or my laptop, I have never discovered so many minute details in it. And it also feels really nice when people from other countries come up to you and ask about the Director and his works. I wish they did such shows more often in here. And I wish they did this at least once in Calcutta. For people of my generation, seeing Ray on the big screen is a rare opportunity. And I am sure given a chance, they will absolutely savor it.

2009-04-02T14:09:00.001+05:30

kobita-r jonye aatmohotya chhaRa swabhabikota nei

Damn! It feels great to be able to write again.

2009-03-28T09:39:00.002+05:30

Today facebook asked if I wanted to add Suddha Prasad Bagchi as my friend. I suspect facebook might just be a bit more weirder than this aforementioned person.

Oh, this same person was trying to ping me and make small talk with me on gtalk earlier today. I successfully blocked him. And I have absolutely no idea how he came into my gtalk list.

Like a rolling stone!

2009-03-19T10:56:00.002+05:30

Last monday, around 2 in the afternoon I was sitting in a Manhattan bound F train and staring at the subway walls. Not trying to read the words of the prophets though. And I hear that the previous reference will be lost on students of Comp. Lit. in SUNY(courtesy Diviani). The duo should have written songs about Calcutta. Anyway, there I was sitting in a subway train and utterly bored. Then enter two African American women. They come and sit right on the seats on the other side of the aisle and start talking loudly. Now, I could have done without mentioning loudly. African American women talk a lot, and when they do they talk loudly. They don't perhaps know the art of whispering. They even scream a lot. When they are happy and not having sex and also when they are happy and having sex. And before you ask questions, my Italian roomie used to screw one such lady. What else they did, I do not know. But I could hear the moaning from two rooms away. Ohh, yes. The two women in the subway. Now, when I paid attention to them, they presented an interesting spectacle. They were quite peculiarly dressed. There was no question about the femininity of one, while the other quite looked like a man with breasts. But the US is a weird country. There are people with all kinds of gender here, some even unknown to imbeciles like me. Having such an enlightening reallization, I turned my head and resumed my staring at the walls. Suddenly something moved. And the next moment, the woman whose gender was quite perplexing, hit the floor of the train. And started rolling. She stopped at my feet and looked up at me. With the looks of a famished stray dog looking up at a tea-stall owner for a biscuit. I was even more perplexed. She was defnitely not a dog. A bitch, I wasn't sure. And I also had no biscuits with me. So I sat, looking back at her. She then got up on her knees and stumbled to her seat. Thus, relieving me of the shame of not offering her a biscuit or something similar. As I turned my head and fixed my gaze once again on the dark walls, I heard them bursting into fits of laughter and almost falling on the floor. Time and again. This went on for five minutes or so when my stop came and I sprang out with the agility of a drugged Ben Johnson. Before the doors closed, I looked at the woman who took my seat and prayed that she had some cookies to offer when the rolling lady came asking. Did I mention, the two of them were completely stoned? Rolling and stoned? Uh, I live in a mediocre world!

Yay!

2009-03-16T22:02:00.004+05:30

I went to Barnes & Nobles and while browsing through the books on films, I came across the above two. I am still a poor Graduate student and 40$ even poorer. But at least I have the books. I am HAPPY!!!!

Just.

2009-03-05T12:13:00.002+05:30

"A woman was gossiping with her friend about a man whom they hardly knew - I know none of you have ever done this. That night, she had a dream: a great hand appeared over her and pointed down on her. She was immediately seized with an overwhelming sense of guilt. The next day she went to confession. She got the old parish priest, Father O' Rourke, and she told him the whole thing. 'Is gossiping a sin?' she asked the old man. 'Was that God All Mighty's hand pointing down at me? Should I ask for your absolution? Father, have I done something wrong?' 'Yes,' Father O' Rourke answered her. 'Yes, you ignorant, badly-brought-up female. You have blamed false witness on your neighbor. You played fast and loose with his reputation, and you should be heartily ashamed.' So, the woman said she was sorry, and asked for forgiveness. 'Not so fast,' says O' Rourke. 'I want you to go home, take a pillow upon your roof, cut it open with a knife, and return here to me.' So, the woman went home: took a pillow off her bed, a knife from the drawer, went up the fire escape to her roof, and stabbed the pillow. Then she went back to the old parish priest as instructed. 'Did you cut the pillow with a knife?' he says. 'Yes, Father.' 'And what were the results?' 'Feathers,' she said. 'Feathers?' he repeated. 'Feathers; everywhere, Father.' 'Now I want you to go back and gather up every last feather that flew out onto the wind,' 'Well,' she said, 'it can't be done. I don't know where they went. The wind took them all over.' 'And that,' said Father O' Rourke, 'is gossip!"

................ Father Brendan Flynn (Doubt, 2008)

Being incoherent.

2009-03-02T13:54:00.003+05:30

1) I spent a whole day listening to Mohd.Rafi, Lata Mangeshkar and Manna Dey. I think I am getting old.

2) Being self-obsessed has its own merits. For one, you could be totally happy with your own cooking.

3) Its snowing again. Gah! I hate it when it snows for just a few hours and then stops. That way we don't get our classes off and the streets are all messy for the next couple of days. I would rather have a blizzard anyday.

4) Pintsize is the new benchmark in haramigiri. Go check him out here.

5) Never ever watch Hollywood made horror films. Ramgopal Verma ki Aag can be far more entertaining.

Invasion

2009-02-26T05:46:00.002+05:30

My blog has officially been invaded by women. All kinds of women. There's the one who is in love with me, the one who wants to sleep with me, the one who looks like a seductress out of a graphic novel, the one who would'nt flirt with me, the one who watches films and of course the one who only pretends to watch films. Quite a handful! I feel like the ever hungry, ever deprived, ever horny resident of a womanland colony. But I am not complaining. Whoever wants paradise anyway? I am happy with my sinful hell full with all these dames. Keep them coming :D

No sarcasm attempted whatsoever.

2009-02-23T10:22:00.004+05:30

Question: What is common between New York City and The Academy Awards a.k.a The Oscars?

Answer: Both never cease to amuse me.

The day before yesterday, I ran off to Brooklyn after I had managed to grade 240 copies in two days. I desperately needed some kind of rest and diversion to make all the numbers dancing before my tired eyes go away. Hence, Brooklyn, to a friend's. On the way I saw a bengali restaurant. Which is not quite a rare site in NYC. But the loudspeaker outside playing bengali songs in full volume sure was. Some firangis stood bewildered and tried to decide what exactly is going on. I stopped for a minute or two and walked away laughing heartily. First time in two days.

Today the 81st Academy Awards were presented. And "Slumdog Millionaire" stole the show with 8 or 9 awards. I found out it also has an imdb rating of 8.7 and stands #37 in their top 250 films list. A.R.Rehman won two awards for his excellent music direction in the film which consists of the very memorable track "bla bla bla JAI HO! bla bla bla JAI HO!"(thanks to a friend for the description). After days of waiting with bated(and perhaps stinking) breath, "Slumdog Millionaire" was declared to be the best film of 2008. We, Indians should definitely be proud of this incredible achievement of a film that is entirely shot in our dearest country and portrays our average population so well. Only, the film lovers should be in a grave dilemma. Whether to send "Delhi 6" or "Raaz 2" as the official Indian entry to next year's Best Foreign Film Oscar category. Mr.Rehman might as well win another lady for his absolutely stunning "Masakkali". Ah, I wish it was Oscars all throughout the year. I would then sleep a happy man every night.

2009-02-17T06:11:00.000+05:30

Being obsessively over-possessive doesn't quite help.

2009-02-09T12:26:00.002+05:30

"Holud bosonte je bish achhe, Shinjini,
fNoTa fNoTa paan kawro tumi .
Tobe jodi amar moton more jete paro."

Present crushes

2009-02-05T13:54:00.004+05:30

Is it me or is Megan Fox totally hot? Right now, I can't get enough of her.

What is with me and Italian women? My love for Claudia Cardinale seems to have been rekindled and I don't blame no one.

2009-01-30T11:03:00.002+05:30

These are the two new posters on my bedroom wall. Yay! :D And I also plan to buy posters of "Cannibal holocaust" and "Ichi the killer" tomorrow :D

We are having a saraswati pujo this year too. But the difference is, this year I am the purut thakur. That means I have to find my poite(which I threw away long time ago) and resist myself from eating beef for a whole day. Moreover, I need to sit on the floor for a long time. Which, I am not sure if I will be able to do. But on the brighter side, I will get some dokhhinas surely. And I also get to have batasa, nokuldana, sweets, khichuri, chutney etc. Quite a fair deal, methinks.

And also, Savita Bhabhi needs contributions from us readers to keep entertaining us with tales of her sexual escapades. Please donate and support the wonderfully foxy lady in her great quest of filling the void that is Indian adult entertainment. I am donating. Are you? (and I don't mean, erm, donations in kind :D)

2009-01-26T10:24:00.003+05:30

http://telegraphindia.com/1090122/jsp/calcutta/story_10424692.jsp

Wherever we are headed, its not gonna be a nice world to live in.

Food frenzy

2009-01-21T10:49:00.002+05:30

Seems like cribbing in the blogsphere indeed has its merits. Once earlier, I cribbed about having not enough new clothes. Reading that, fellow bloggers offered to buy me all kinds of not-so-nice pants and tee-s. Then again, only a few days before I cribbed about being robbed of two very thin and not-so-good-tasting cheesecake slices by my friends. One of them chanced to read the post and promptly treated me to a very-good-tasting cheesecake. Out of compassion or guilt, I don't give a damn. I got my cake and I love him for it. I shalt from now on cry more often about almost everything in my sight or mind. And hope that more people read my blog.

In the last week, I had, lets see, ummmm
1)home made pizza. which was yummy.
2)some french dessert with french toast and caramel.
3)noodles, crabmeat, shrimp, chicken and fried ice cream in a Thai joint.
4)mid-eastern food consisting of babaganoush, hummus, grilled lamb and kosher chicken.
5)Chinese food, Indian style. just the way I love it.
6)delightful ingira bread, lamb, chicken and tiramisu cake in an Ethiopian restaurant. and I also found out that Ethiopian girls can be very beautiful. our waitress almost looked like Cleopatra's drawings in the history books.
7)Taj Mahal beer. after ages.

All the food, the waitresses, the nice company, the walks through the streets of a snowing New York and two almost satisfying bridge-playing sessions after, I am ready for a new semester. Life has been good in the past week. I only hope to repeat these words every weekend.

2009-01-16T15:13:00.001+05:30

Seems as if I am extremely adept at screwing up whatever little good life has in store for me. I just wish things were different.

Tera emoSSional atyachaar

2009-01-14T10:32:00.005+05:30

Yay! I downloaded the full OST of Dev.D and its totally awesome. Whoever Amit Trivedi is, he has composed 18 tracks for the film and all of them sound completely refreshing, different from each other and mostly great. For the enthusiasts, there're rock elements, touches of jazz, bhangra and even traditional wedding song types. My more learned senior tells me that there are very clever uses of hindusthhani raag music too(which I am quite ignorant about). All in all its a wonderful collection of music("tera emoSSional atyachaar" being the best of the lot) which I am literally hooked to right now. And the trailer also looks simply mouth-watering. Thanks to Anurag Kashyap Indian film will finally make its foray into psychedelia and I have never been this excited about a hindi film that hasn't got SRK in it. So, there you go. You can comprehend how eagerly I await the release.

Talking of hindi films and SRK, thanks to Diviani, I finally got hold of a working link of "Rab ne bana di jori" online. I won't waste words on how much I liked it. Just that SRK was totally brilliant as Surinder Sahni. Anyone who differs can go eat shit. Someone recently opined that I am suffering from deep melancholia and need some serious counselling. Also, I had a fearsome bout of insomnia for a few days. But I have discovered the cure to everything. I have promptly downloaded a dvd quality print of "Dilwale dulhaniya le jayenge" and every night before hitting the sack, I watch select parts of the film. That way I get good sleep with nice dreams and be happy, very happy.

Btw, I have watched DDLJ "n" times(n>100) before. And still, every time I watch it, Raj and Simran make me "fall in love....all over again".

2009-01-05T14:04:00.002+05:30

I feel deprived.

I bought myself two slices of fudge brownie cheesecake. But my friends robbed me of it, cut them in five thin slices and gave me only one :( Then we went to a friend's birthday party. We bought a tiramisu cake for her. She cut it into six almost equal pieces and one small piece. As luck would have it, I had the smaller piece :( When I wanted some coke, she only gave me diet coke. That too on the rocks, the ice diluting the coke and hence making it even worse :( Then we had an excellent dinner, thanks to her. But later in the night I had a stomach upset and all the chicken, parota, paayes that had gone in, went out in a "flush" :(

Ohh, while having dinner, another friend was trying to use a fork to eat a naan. I quipped "are you trying to fork a nun?". And felt better for at least a moment.

Still, I feel deprived.

I think, I need to get a whole cheesecake for myself to get over everything :(

Happy New Year

2009-01-02T00:55:00.003+05:30

May all of you be showered with bottles of Jack Daniels everyday this year. Wish you all a very happy 2009. Ullas!

Year end balance sheets

2008-12-30T14:39:00.003+05:30

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?

lied. to friends and family. and also grew a ponytail :D

2. Did you keep your new years resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I never make new year resolutions.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

nope.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

nope.

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

21st May, 2008. Man Utd painted Moscow red. And 31st May. because of no specific reasons.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

let me see. nothing.

9. What was your biggest failure?

academics. but then it has been my biggest failure for quite some time.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

naah.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

Tapo. he believed. Somnathda and Peulidi. they know not what I owe to them.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

none.

14. Where did most of your money go?

food. house rent. beer. books.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

nothing really.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?

"Suzanne"-- Leonard Cohen.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?

I would say, happier. Much happier.

19. What do you wish you'd done more of?

studying.

20. What do you wish you'd done less of?

dreaming, building castles in the air, brooding and throwing tantrums.

21. How will you be spending Christmas?

just chatting with some friends, having good food, maybe watching a good film.

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?

I fall in love everyday :)

23. How many one night stands?

none.

24. What was your favourite TV programme?

FRIENDS, The big bang theory, Weeds.

26. What was the best book you read?

Hungry generation rochona sonkolon

Difficult loves by Italo Calvino.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Freddie King, John Lee Hooker, T-bone Walker, Little Richard. I am in absolute love with delta blues.

28. What did you want and get?

A wonderful 3 month vacation in home. and proximity.

29. What did you want and not get?

cracking the quals. and proximity.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?

The Dark Knight.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

turned 25. spent a quiet day all alone. bought a bottle of scotch. got drunk while waiting for a call that never came. lost my temper and shouted and cursed. that pretty much sums it up.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

if only I learnt to bury utopian thoughts and for once face my life.

34. What kept you sane?

poetry, films, music. and ocassional phone calls.

37. Who was the worst new person you met?

I didn't meet anyone new.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

I told ya. I didn't meet anyone new. I am a social outcast :)

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.

"Reality continues to ruin my life" :)

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

"I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life

I took a heavenly ride turough our silence
I knew the waiting had begun
And headed straight... into the shining sun"

Equus

2008-12-30T14:26:00.003+05:30

Yes! I watched the broadway show. Mr.Potter proved that jumping around on the stage naked doesn't make him a good actor. His Uncle Vernon instead stole the show. Overall it was an excellent production. I have now read the play, watched the film, watched the bengali adaptation(which in its own rights was exceptionally good), watched the broadway show. And now, as Dr.Dysart would say " When Equus leaves, if he leaves at all, it will be with his intestines in his teeth". The horse's head, the metal chains in their mouth will remain with me. At least for some time.

2008-12-23T16:27:00.002+05:30

Last night me and two friends drove to the Newark Liberty International airport to pick up a friend who was coming back from India. When we reached the gates, this friend of ours hasn't arrived and so we decide to wait for him. But the cops won't let us wait there. So we have to get out on the highway, drive around for some time and then come back. And we inevitably lose our way, ending up in a shady neighborhood in Newark city at 11:30 in the night. Now, Newark has a predominantly black and hispanic population and has had its share of mugging, gunshots, arson, sexual assaults and murder. Quite more than any other city in New Jersey. So we drive around for some time, trying to get back on the highway. Finally we stop at this pizza place and a huge black guy comes over to us menacingly. He raises his giant hands, greets us and on learning that we have lost our way, directs us quite cordially. We then try to follow his directions and get lost again.

We finally found our way but that is not the point. From the day I have stepped my foot in this country, I have heard about black men terrorizing unsuspecting whites or asians at every street corners. But all I have got from them till now are huge smiles, warm "hello, how ya doing today?"s. And now, this. I guess not everyone around me is a racist. Perhaps its me who's lucky. And I am not complaining.

Oh, my Albanian and Italian roomies were having a heated discussion a few days ago. They were counting how many places they have been to, that the other hasn't seen. Clearly the Italian guy was winning. And then the Albanian guy asked him "have you ever been to Albania?". The Italian answered "no". To this the Albanian replied "well well, I have been to Albania. quite a lot of times". Rich, huh?

2008-12-18T16:12:00.003+05:30

Ah! The pain, the pain! At times it almost kills me. But mostly, it keeps me going :)

A night at the University.

2008-12-13T14:30:00.006+05:30

10th December, 2008 will always be a memorable day. I had a homework due. A homework that needed a lot of computer programming and bits of statistics also. Now, the statistics I can do at home. But for the programming part I needed to go to my department lab which is like 7-8 minutes walking distance from my place. I had been planning to get this over with for the entire last month. But somehow, the cold weather with occasional drizzles and my special talent in procrastination prevented me from doing it. Also, my lack of memory didn't help my cause. Otherwise I could have done it on any of the numerous occasions I went to the department to do a class or for some other purpose. So, I was there sitting on my living room couch at 11 in the night, thinking that I should do something about the homework. And I decide to have dinner. Normally I hate cooking. But now since I have more important work to do, cooking feels great. So I cook musur daal, double dim-er omelette, a torkari with mixed vegetables and bhaat and have a sumptuous dinner. All this takes about an hour. Then it occurs to me that I really need to do some programming. So I have some ice cream(irish creme flavored) alongwith sherry. By the time I finish its already 12:30 and its started to drizzle. Alarmed by the dire situation in hand I get dressed, arm my backpack with chips, a bottle of pepsi and an umbrella and start walking towards the department. When I reach there, I am quite soaked and the umbrella is as dry as Canada(that'll put Sidhu to shame). So, I go up to the lab which is expectedly quite empty and work for half an hour and bored, start reading Calvin & Hobbes from the internet. Now, Calvin & Hobbes is a wonderful creation in itself. I have been rediscovering it in the last few months. And nothing other than Calvin and Calvino has moved me in that time. Anyways, I was having a great time exploring the space with Spaceman Spiff when a friend buzzed me in gmail. One may wonder what has gmail got to do with statistical programming. I would like to bypass the question. While chatting with him, I discovered that Facebook has lots of things to play around with. Around 3:00 I suddenly reallized that I have done almost nothing and went back to work and around 3:05 I reallize that I lack the expertise to do the work remaining. Relieved, I go back to Calvin and my pack of chips, which by the way were great. I tell you Doritos nacho cheese is too good. Its a bit spicy, so you cant possibly have it with liquor. It will then definitely give you acidity which is bad. But with pepsi they are great. A lot of people don't like Doritos. I wonder why. I even like their plain tortilla chips which taste awesome with salsa. Anyway, when the chips finishied, I had nothin to eat. And I decided to take a walk through the department. Now, I tell you taking a walk through a 7 storey building at 4 in the morning can be creepy. But I, being the ever valiant Knight of Bichiland, took a tour of the whole building. At every passage I thought it would be great if a serial killer jumps me or a Japanese girl with her hair all over her face starts crawling at me out of nowhere. Nothing of the sorts happened and I found myself infront of a cookie vending machine some half an hour later. Living. Unscathed. And bored. Thus went the saga till 10:00 in the morning when I finally called up my senior and and asked for his help. He immediately asked me to come over to his place. On reaching he offered help. And breakfast. Which was indeed a bigger help. I spent another hour there and figured out the problems. Later he dropped me home and I let myself drop on the bed and delve into unconsciousness. So, whats so special about the night? Almost a day and a half without sleep? Naah, I have done that. But almost 10 hours in a lab? Thats something I have never dreamt of doing. And one day when this blog will be no more, I can even boast to people that I actually worked for those 10 hours :D

Agdum Bagdum Tag-dum

2008-11-26T15:07:00.003+05:30

Amio tag korbo. Byas! Churi kore holeo korbo :D

1.What does your user name mean?
The None? Just signifies the non-entity that I am. More interesting should be my gmail username. Bichienator. Which is a convex combination of Bichi and Terminator. The latter because I am a fan and the former because it was my nickname in high school :D

2. Elaborate on your user photo:
My pseudo-intellectual look photo complete with a red punjabi and a Satyajit pose.

3. How many comments do you have?
4 in the last post. Tar modhye ekTa abar amar nijer kora.

4. What's your current relationship status?
Single. Ami ekaaaaaaaa. Ekmebadwitiyom! :(

5. What exactly are you wearing right now?
A pair of shorts.

6. What is your current problem?
That I have a download limit.

7. What do you love most?
Thinking. I think so much that I tend to lose my sleep.

8. What makes you most happy?
Inactivity.

9. Are you musically inclined?
Sort of.

10. What would you do if you woke up one morning and found out you were on cocaine?
Thank Clapton for it.

11. If you could go back in time, and change something, what would it be?
The two days I couldn't sleep. I would like to sleep through them.

12. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day, what would you be?
A bear. In hibernation.

13. Ever have a near death experience?
Naah.

14. Name an obvious quality you have?
I can bore people?

15. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
"Ha daiyaa hum ka bataye duty double sasuraar mein". Serioulsly. Listen to it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fevXWdQn0PI

16. Are you happy today?
Ecstatic.

17. Who will cut and paste this to first?
How should I know?

18. Name someone with the same birthday as you:
My friend Sambit Gan. I used to call him "jonogon".

19. Do you have a secret crush on someone?
Yes, yes. Cobie Smulders, please. The lady's hot!

20. Do you have a garbage disposal in your kitchen sink?
Jani na to!

21. Have you ever been in a fight?
Yes. Lots. In school. Over chocolates, girls and cricket.

22. Have you ever sang in front of a large audience?
Music tests till class four. I used to sing the national anthem every year.

23. What's the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex:
The hair. My friends think its the ass though. They don't believe I can think highly about women.

24. Whats your biggest mistake?
Keeping the lid of a vodka bottle open for two days. Almost all the vodka vanished in thin air.

25. Say something totally random about you?
I drool when I sleep without a pillow. And I often dream of tentacles growing out of my body.

26. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Yes. A few people said I look like Robert Mitchum, Danny Trejo, Biplab Chatterjee and Satyajit Ray :D

27. Are you comfortable with your height?
I would like to be two inches taller. That way no one can complain that I am shorter than a specific friend of mine.

28. What is the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you?
Whisper to me at seven in the morning.

29. What is your favorite smell?
The smell of dark chocolate. Makes me forget everything.

30. What's something that really annoys you?
Waking up.

31. What's something you really like?
Chocolates. Coffee.

32. Do you give random hugs and kisses?
I don't find any takers.

33. What's the latest you have ever stayed up?
At a stretch? Almost 36 hours.

34. Have you ever been rushed to the emergency room?
Never been to an emergency room.

Jaah! Shesh! Aar ki kora jaay bhabi :(

Holde molaaT

2008-11-18T13:43:00.004+05:30

Bangla panus have always amazed me. The extremely interesting descriptions of the human body, the very peculiar sound effects and the wonderful titles, what more could you possibly want? I still remember the first book I read. It was called "Shashurir Joubon". During the school days, with no cd's or dvd's handy, these books were all we got. We used to get them from footpaths in College street, outside Shealdah railway station and later from old book sellers in Golpark. But we still were oblivious of things more worthy than these books. We didn't know bangladeshi panu books existed. Now, thanks to the wonderful thing called internet, we have access to the treasury of Bangladeshi panus. And god, they are the most raw and purest of literatures. They are works of art in themselves. The minute I am moved by the narrative in "Foxy begum saheba", I go on to read "Jounotar bondore nishidhho sukh" and wonder silently at the sheer creativity of the author. I really wish these authors will get their due credits someday. I, for one, would never forget their contributions in contemporary bengali literature.

And I am particularly happy because someone I know also writes bangla panu in her blog. Go and see if you can find them :D

2008-11-14T14:03:00.002+05:30

I have suspected it for long. Now I have proof. Alcohol does open the floodgates of my creativity. I have been planning to write this short story for the last two months. I know exactly what I want to write. But somehow, I couldn't decide on the how part. Last night, a peg of Jack on the rocks and voila! I hope to finish it in a few days time and send it to where I want.

P.S: IIM Indore released their yearly online puzzle Klueless 4 a few days back. And I am already loving it. Those interested can check at Klueless . All the best.

2008-11-10T13:00:00.003+05:30

This must be the end. I am sure. In a few days I will either drift to complete insanity or die. I can tell. The sign, is, here.
Oh about the sign, I spent an hour on my bed, turning all possible ways, trying all possible postures and still couldn't sleep.

Did I mention I bought myself these two large size posters?

And as a result got the below for free. Yay!!

I watched Amir Khan's new film "Ghajini"s trailer. Its supposedly a hindi remake of Nolan's "Memento" where Amir puts on a blue shirt and dances around on a sea beach and sings romantic songs. So much so for Nolan's ass. Anyway, the trailer turned out to be a good comic relief as I fell off my chair laughing. And now, some persons may come after me and actually try to kill me as I write out the next sentence. "Taare zameen par" seems to have been chosen as India's oscar entry which goes on to show why we haven't won any in all these years. And to think of it, the selection committee in all probabiliies haven't even heard of "No smoking". At this point of time, I say "peace!" and talk about other not-so-controversial things.

I dreamt that I had won the first prize in a bangladeshi quiz show hosted by Chandril Bhattacharya and received a free tram ticket to Dhaka downtown. I had no idea whether the bangladeshi's were aware of the uptown, downtown concept till I came across this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tv-eTzb2BH4

Wonderful creation, this.

2008-11-07T22:38:00.002+05:30

My closest buddy called me up and proudly announced "dude, you'll never be on the right side of 25 again".

Few minutes later, he again said "in 5 more years, you'll be 30!". Well, thanks for the breaking news.

I always thought I was the king of pimples. I mean, I am 25 and still the pimples refuse to leave my pockmarked face that resembles the dark side of the moon. But yesterday I saw my Taiwanese roomie had a pimple as big as my right ball. He had to go to a health center and get a plaster on it. And he is like 29 years old!

I had the wrong notion that I can still gulp down 750ml of whiskey in a single night. I could manage only half of it. And fell asleep.

I watched the India Australia ongoing test match for 10 mins. India were cruising at 85 for no loss. At the end of that 10 min period, India were 101 for 3 wickets.

When everyone was going berserk over Mr.Obama's victory and crying to his wonderful speech, I was busy watching "Who's nailin Paylin".

I am old. And I am a loser.

Please pray for me :(

The silver jubilee!

2008-11-06T07:59:00.002+05:30

Happy birthday to me! And screw the world, for what I care. I give a rat's ass as to who remembers it and who doesn't. Its my birthday and I am loving it.

2008-10-26T09:46:00.002+05:30

Ok, this is creepy. For the first time in my life, I woke up in the middle of the night screaming "no! no!" with my hands stretched out. I saw a dream. A weird one. There was this "sinister" looking woman in my house. She had already influenced my parents and was trying to control my thoughts, trying to hyptonise me. I tried fighting her with my mind. I couldn't. As she gained control over my mind, in a desperate attempt to fight back I stretched out my arms and shouted "no! no!". That is when I woke up. And I couldn't sleep for another hour. The dream stayed with me. Vividly. And I have never been scared before. Not of dreams, not of anything. Never. So, why now? Is this the breaking point?

I guess I will put off my daily dose of horror films for a few days.

Kahani puri Filmi hai

2008-10-03T03:36:00.003+05:30

This be an advertisement. I, now have another blog. Which btw, is an exclusive film blog. You can read it at:

Film Eater's Washbasin

Being the film snob that I am, I shall preach cinema there and make these effing-film-illiterates see light :D

2008-09-29T05:31:00.002+05:30

I need no sunshine to make me happy. Unexpected early morning conversations or mere ten minutes of casual banter are more than enough. These are times when I absolutely love my life.

2008-09-25T06:09:00.002+05:30

A name is all I craved. Turns out that I was wrong. Totally. Certain things should never be named. They find their own identities.

Hence, I rest my case. And hope. I will either see light with time or see myself break. Bothways, the journey matters. And I will make it as beautiful as possible.

A beautiful life.

2008-09-10T08:25:00.004+05:30

A few snapshots of my second year at Rutgers:

1) I still don't feel like going to classes. I do go, though.

2) I have to work for money. I am now a teaching assistant or a TA.

3) I have no fucking idea of what I am supposed to do as a TA. And its already second week into the semester.

4) I know what I am not supposed to do though. Guess what? I am not supposed to sleep with any of my hot skimpily clad undergraduate students. That is the first thing they told at the TA orientation program!

5) I am taking a course in statistical genetics. Fancy, eh? The genetics part, I only know how to spell it. The statistical part, not much more than the spelling either.

6) Everyone around me seems to be engaged in an international level conspiracy to make me eat broccolis. And I fucking hate it!

7) I get acidity whenever I drink beer!

8) Since I have some antacids at my disposal, I still drink beer. Lots of it. And get splitting headaches and get sleepy. Then I have coffee to make the headache go away. In the whole process I also make the sleep go away. Hence, I tend to remain awake till 4 or 5 in the morning. Unhealthy, to say the least.

9) I religiously call up people who are not very keen on speaking with me.

10) I found out a kati roll place in Rutgers, spent 5$ on a beef tikka roll that is smaller than my "thing" and still boasted about my feat to people back in Kolkata. How pathetic can you get!

11) And I have no better work to do than solving a random online puzzle and writing all this at the middle of the night. Ciao!

Dhusssssss.........

2008-08-29T08:50:00.000+05:30

Kissu bhallagchhe na :( :( :( :(

Some jokes are meant to be funny...

2008-07-24T22:51:00.005+05:30

.........But he isn't.

This summer be scared. Be VERY scared. Of his jokes. Of his looks. Of his claps. Of his phone calls. And of his pencil disappearing tricks. Because this summer onwards evil has a new name. And it's spelt as JOKER!!!! Not Max Cady, Jack Torrance, Hannibal Lecter, Alex or Anton Chigurh. But JOKER.

I have always thought of Nolan as the best storyteller of present day Hollywood. Not only because he made Memento. But because he dared to make The Following and also because he made Batman Begins. Which, before TDK happened, was the best superhero film I have ever seen. I also maintained that with Christian Bale, Hollywood is in able hands. And boy, did they deliver in TDK! Alongwith the ever charming Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman and the otherwise stone-faced Aron Eckhart, who btw is wonderful as Harvey Two face, they make TDK one of the most visually stunning experiences on screen. And the best superhero film. Ever. I won't go into discussing the technicalities or the crooked storyline or any other details. Because this is not a review but a gushfest. As this, is the only film that has not lived up to the hype it created, but actually surpassed it. This is the only sequel I have seen that is better than the original. And after this, superhero films won't be the same ever. TDK has redefined a genre. And in style.

There was this another person called Heath Ledger who was supposed to have played a major role in the film. I didn't see him though. But I did see Joker. This guy called Jack Nicholson once crossed a line and saw himself become a caricature. The Joker walked the line between true evil and humor. That too with a smile on his face. For us, the ladies and gentlemen, he"ll not only be tonight's entertainment but true embodiment of evil that"ll haunt us. Forever.

Om "Shanti Home"

2008-07-10T12:31:00.002+05:30

It all started one fine evening in Olypub. It hasn't ended yet. And it won't. Never.

As we were merrily drinking along and enjoying the beefsteaks and chicken-a-la-kievs someone said "lets plan a trip together". Everyone nodded in drunken unanimity. Little did we know what awaited us. Three to four days later, it suddenly occurred to me that my uncle has an empty house in Shantiniketon. Phone calls followed. Then there were a lot of persuasions, plannings, apprehensions. And one fine afternoon eight friends were waiting at Howrah station for the Howrah Maldah Town Intercity Express. Not that everyone was equally well acquainted with the others. But everything changed in the two days to follow. The journey, the anecdotes, the "chhoRanos", the wonderful house, the booze, the weed, the drunken stupors and the list could go on forever. But again, that would only be a list. The experience, I don't have words to describe it. I fail utterly to express how it felt to be completely drenched in the rain and splash around in the breathtakingly gorgeous Kopai river. That too with five beautiful women :P I search around for words when after midnight amidst all the inebriations, someone sits up straight and with closed eyes starts singing "aamar nishitho raat-ero baadol dhara". And there were also the "bangla panu" reading sessions by the candlelight, the erotic "mohuay jomechhe aaj mou go" dancings, the "chaa" and "aloor chop" rendezvous' at a roadside "jhupRi" and spending the last evening in Prinsep ghat watching a magnificent sky glorified further by a sad sun setting. The two days changed eight lives. Forever. Only time will tell whether we'll all be friends in the future too. But there always will be a part of each one of us that will crave for the seven others. Some figments of memories that will remain, some little things that will make us laugh even after twenty years. And Shantiniketon will always be a place we would associate with us, a place that formed an inexplicable bond between eight people. And I already miss that place.

Everything that goes up, comes down. But everyhting that starts doesn't end. This IS it. We plan to do this again and again. But whether we do or not, we'll relive the memories. Time and again. OM "SHANTI HOME" to that.

P.S: For those ineterested you can see the pictures at
1) http://picasaweb.google.com/tapabratabanerjee/Shantiniketan
2) http://picasaweb.google.com/bichienator/ShantiniketonTrip

2008-06-30T23:13:00.001+05:30

Pity is very much the last fucking thing I ask for. Ever.

Of food and losing weight

2008-06-19T20:28:00.002+05:30

There was once a time when I weighed around 110 kgs. Until two weeks ago I weighed 74 kgs. Everyone kept asking me how I could lose almost 40 Kgs in about two years. And I kept saying that its all due to my exercise regime which consisted of running around 2 miles, 3 to 4 days a week(the "mile" also helped flaunt my American connection, though it doesn't help much :-( ). Another reason that I didn't mention was the food. Not that I ate less or skipped meals or ate less healthy food. But notably for the last three years I have been mostly living away from home. Not that I am complaining. Everyone needs to stay away from home at least for a year or so. It enriches your experiences, helps you become truly independent and most importantly of all, allows you to booze as much as you want. For teetotallers it allows you to smoke as much as you want. For teetotallers and non smokers, God Help You! That apart, I was talking about staying away from home. Now, the single most important thing about it is you don't get food cooked by your mom. Which sucks. Bigtime. My mom cooks excellent food. I am sure that everyone else's mom also does. But the taste is quite immaterial in our present discussion. Its the very fact that its home made concerns us. I have been home about two weeks. And I have already gained around 5 kgs and developed a cute little pot shaped belly. Now my old denims fit. But that also means I can't buy new ones. And this little observation about my gain in weight made me reallize that the most important factor behind losing weight is not being able to have home made food.
A lot of people around me have been trying to lose weight. If you are reading this, take my advice. Stay away from home for about an year and see the result. And I won't even charge you for the advice. The good hearted chap that I am :-)

P.S: I had wonderful biryani in a shabby place in Baruipur. Golbari reopened. My mother's recovered completely and is in a cooking spree. Looks like I will be my old self when I go back in another two months.

Homecoming.

2008-06-14T00:59:00.003+05:30

10 months and 10 days. Exactly. And I was coming back home. Long flight. Bandhs. Long waits . Delayed trains. Then two faces peeking in from the window. And two more standing eagerly at the doorsteps of the old house. I don't ask for nothing else.

And then there's the city. Nothing's changed. Really. Except for some faces. And that's the way I like it.

I have come back to life :-)

Another tag.

2008-05-14T09:09:00.005+05:30

I didn't get tagged this time. But on reading this here, I decided to do it myself. Not because it looked interesting but I had nothing better to do. So there you go.

1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER?
Tare Zameen Par. I want half of my money back.

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
Theory of point estimation by E.L.Lehmann. Its actually pretty interesting.

3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
Ludo. The usual one. And I hate saap-ludo. I always find the snake. :(

4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?
Used to be Anandamela and MAD. Nowadays I prefer Maxim.

5. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Wet earth, any variety of alcohol, ChNapa ful-er gondho, LyangRa aam. And I absolutely love the way my mother smells.

6. FAVORITE SOUND?
The sound of silence. :D On a serious note, the sound of my watch ticking away. I love to listen to it, observe it as each second rushes by.

7.WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD:
Humiliation. I can’t live with it.

8.FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP?
“Shoot! Why? Why? WHY??!!”

9. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
Tough one. It can be Hot Kati Roll, maybe Humro Momo. But, I think I would go with Aadi Maloncho in Haatibagan. Heavenly chicken kabirajis! *drools*

10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME:
If it’s a boy then “ghonTa” and if it’s a girl then “pNuTi”. Btw, when I was primary school, there was this hugely popular Bengali song “pNuTir maa pNuTir maa, pNuTike biye korbo na” :D :D

11. FINISH THIS STATEMENT.
"If I had a lot of money I would...buy myself a beach house and spend the rest of my life relaxing on a hammock with beers and steaks on the table beside.

12.DO YOU DRIVE FAST?
I don't drive.

13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
WTF????!!!!!!

14. STORMS-COOL OR SCARY?
Very very cool.

15. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
As far as I remember I got a tractor and a fire engine together. This reminds me that according to my grandparents, unlike other kids who learn to speak “baba”, “ma” etc first, my first words were “gaayiii”. :P

16. FAVORITE DRINK?
Good scotch. On the rocks.

17. FINISH THIS STATEMENT,
"IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD... sleep more. I don’t get enough sleep nowadays. I stay awake for almost 9-10 hours every day. :(

18. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI?
Huh! I am chlorophyllophobic.

19. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?
I like my hair as it is. Thank you.

20. NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS YOU HAVE LIVED IN.
Calcutta, Kanpur, Piscataway.

21. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Soccer all the way.

22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU:
She’s the most random talker I’ve seen. And in the nicest possible way.

23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
The carpet, I guess.

24. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN?
Absolutely. I totally love myself.

25. MORNING PERSON, OR NIGHT OWL?
Late night owl.

26. OVER EASY, OR SUNNY SIDE UP?
Sunny side up.

27. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX?
My bed.

28. FAVORITE PIE?
Chocolate pecan pies and chocolate fudge pies.

29.FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Chocolate. I gorge on chocolate fudge brownie.

30. OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU TAGGED THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST?
I really don’t know. I am very bad at guessing. :(

I have an exam tomorrow morning. And another one, a big big one in just a few days time. And I am up at 2:00 in the night doing good for nothing tags. I tag the short one, the tall one and the nymph. I really hope at least one of them does this. So that at my deathbed I will get some solace knowing that my effort didn't go in vain. Ohh, and methinks the last line makes me a suitable candidate for the post of the scriptwriter for the next Ekta Kapoor mega.

The science of sleep.

2008-04-10T23:29:00.003+05:30

My blog's been asleep for some time. People who don't know me very well may jump at this stage and say "aren't you a PhD student? I bet you were busy with TA duties and project submissions and exams and what nots". People who know me quite well may nod their heads wisely and say "you must have been watching a lot of films lately". And people who are smart enough to read the title of the post would just give a knowing smile and continue reading about my sleeping stories. Yes, my blog was sleeping because I have been sleeping. A lot. Literally, a lot. I have been going to bed really early these days. Like around 2, 2:30 in the night. Which is btw, by my standards, EARLY. I wake up around 10 in the morning. Have breakfast and go back to sleep at 11:00. Then I wake up at 3:30 only by the noise of someone calling me on gtalk (which, is a wonderful thing in itself). After coming back from class I take another short nap of two hours duration. And then again at 2, I feel I should go to bed early. This has been pretty much my routine over the last two weeks. And I am worried.
Come on, I have every right to worry. Not that I slept less before. I have always had it in me. My friends used to kick me to wake me up. Sometimes, spray ice cold water. I could sleep for 16 hours at a stretch. Without any intoxicants. Actually contrary to popular beliefs, intoxicants if taken in ample amounts reduces your normal sleeping hours. Hostel life taught me that. Hostel life can be very educational. Even if you skip all the classes. I also learnt that sleep and hunger go hand in hand. If you are asleep, you generally don't feel hungry. If you are hungry, you feel sleepy. Morale of the story: if you are a single student living away from home and one night you don't have anything cooked for dinner and you've run out of maggi, lie down and close your eyes; you'll have the best sleep ever. This, I have perfected over the years.
Okay, I hereby list some more points about sleeping that everyone should know.
1) Coffee in the morning only makes you feel like taking a shit. Coffee in the night makes you all the more sleepy. So "coffee helps you keep awake" is a misconception. Advice: don't drink coffee if you have an early morning exam.

2) Insomnia is not a disease. It just signifies that you don't read. Or at least make the effort.

3) Films keep you awake. Good films, you wonder how good can it possible get and bad films, you speculate if the next scene is going to make it a better film than "Jodha Akbar". Nevertheless, they keep you awake. Advice: if you have an exam next day and need to stay awake to study, try watching films all throughout the night.

4) This is for boys only: don't let your parents come to your room before you wake up; or at least use a blanket, otherwise the poor fellas could be traumatized.

5) Sleeping is very inspirational. Seeing other people sleep gives you very innovative ideas. I shalt not emphasize further or else some people may try to get back at me real hard.

6)Sleeping increases your creativity. One of my friends used to dream about how to clear the difficult stages of computer games. And those tricks worked. Really. I, personally dream about things like the third world war where everyone dies. Only Sachin Tendulkar and Adolf Hitler survive and start playing some sort of a "identify the dead man" game.

7) I don't have any idea why some people refer to the act of having sex as "sleeping". I mean when two people are doing it(as Phoebe would say) the last thing they do is sleep. And by "last thing" I intended on a pun, if you didn't get it.

Thats all I can cook up right now. So much so for sleeping. All this writing and thinking and making up random stuff makes me all sleepy again. I will thus get back to hibernating. Wish you all happy sleeping!

Geror Khata

2008-03-20T11:12:00.002+05:30

I have always believed that the journey called life is filled with small pebbles of happiness. All you have to do is pick out the right ones. The sultry siren will bear testimony to this. Besides that she's going to hurl some choicest abuses at me for calling her a siren. I still, stand for the truth. That apart, after a week full of depression and peculiar feelings about whatever's been going on around me, I am happy once again. Ummm, happy would be an understatement. Rather, I am ecstatic, jubilant, elated etc. After a lot of effort, lot of criticism, hindrances and a little bit of help from a few people who care, its finally out there. The second issue of our very own web magazine "Geror Khata" was officially published two days ago. We have been putting a lot of effort into publicity since then. And getting some rave reviews too. It can be viewed at
http://gerorkhata.net/
If you drop by this blog please please go through the magazine too. And let us know whatever you think of the effort. Praises, brickbats, we are ready for everything. And we are also ready for some inputs in the form of prose, poetry, features, photos and drawings for our third issue which will be coming out latest by this June. Please get them coming at gerorkhata@gmail.com.

2008-03-08T07:29:00.002+05:30

Shit happens. Which makes the load of crap called life even crappier. I feel stripped, robbed of my own space. Insecurity has never loomed larger than this. Never. Someone said "even this shall pass". Which, I know. But the suspicions will remain. Forever.

P.S: For those who don't know, my email id's been hacked, my personal mails, chats read and a lot more things done with them. And all this, by someone who is, in all certainties, quite close to me.

Clothing et al.

2008-02-28T23:43:00.003+05:30

Unlike other guys I actually like shopping. I like to go around malls, try out fancy looking tee's and jeans. I even like to buy a few if I have the money. Just a few days before I left Kolkata, I was in Camac Street Pantaloons along with one of my friends. I was looking to buy a watch for myself, and she was looking for one for her boyfriend. After we were done with the watches, another guy came along. Me and him, we were browsing through the men's section for almost half an hour. The girl got so frustrated that when she saw us discussing which Jockey underwear to wear to work, she blurted out "jockey kinis na. amar boyfriend bolechhe jockey-r elastic baaje. alga hoye giye sob dholdhol kore. taarche Hanes ken. tight thakbe". Which literally translates as "Don't go for jockey. My boyfriend said that their elastic's no good and becomes saggy soon. Go for Hanes instead, it keeps everything in place".
Unsolicited advice, I must say. :-|

So, it has been a lean phase for me after I ended up in New Jersey. In these seven months I have managed to buy only a jacket for myself. The jacket, I don't like much. Its pretty warm. But it makes me look fat. Come on, I have lost about 30kgs in two years. And still, when I wear this jacket I look like I weigh over a 100kgs. One of my friends saw me wearing the jacket and said "What the hell were you wearing? A canopy?" I refuse to wear it anymore. Anyone wants to buy a nice, warm, good looking, rarely used jacket? Er, what was I saying? Yeah! I haven't managed to buy any clothing for myself in these seven months. In other words, I haven't had anything new to wear in these seven months. And now, Dreamy asks me to do this fun and nostalgic sorta tag, which I enjoy doing, and suddenly everyone wants to buy me new pair of pants. So, lets see. I've an offer for a pair of pink pants, green pants, purple pants and even "bashonti" colored pants. So that makes four new pairs of pants. Ohh, I so love you people. And I so love the tag. And I am so thankful to the girl who tagged me , I may even offer her the pink pair.

And yes, I have made up my mind. From now on, whenever I need a new tee or a new pair of jeans I am going to do the tag all over again. Fellow bloggers are nice people, you know. :-D

Tagged !!

2008-02-25T08:19:00.005+05:30

I have been tagged. By dreamy doodle do. So much has been happening recently that I couldn't decide which one incident to write about. Whether it should be about the 21$ I lost out in a casino in Atlantic City, or the worst hangover I ever had from excessive drinking or my Albanian friend whose laptop I formatted and can't make it work again, I simply had no idea. Now the tag thing solves the problem. And in any case, my quota of cribbing about my ohh-so-pathetic life is filled. :-P So onto the tag..........forward march.

Life ten years ago:

Was pretty simple. School was about everything my world consisted of. The journey in a chartered bus, fighting with kids from other schools, getting late into the first class everyday, standing half of the day in front the Principal's room, running around and creating a whole lotta ruckus with my huge group of friends during the tiffinbreak and what not. Puberty was settling in, we were becoming more and more interested in "late night movies" in local cable channels and graphic discussions of several human organs. The girls we have been studying with since the very childhood suddenly started putting on weight, at the right places and before we knew, they were young ladies. And we were those confused brats who had no clue about what's going on and kept fighting over some girl we liked. Then there was cricket. All types. Plastic balls, paper balls, "cambis" balls, rubber balls, deuce balls, you name it we tried it. Everyone used to put a lot of effort in the cricket field. Not because there was a tremendous hype with the resurgence of "Dada", but only because the guys who played well got some more attention from girls. :P Nowadays, I don't even watch cricket. And I don't remember the last time I played a serious game myself. Yeah! Ten years is a looooooooong time. :-(

Life Five years ago:

I was a second year student in St.Xaviers, Kolkata. I loved my college. I spent most of it in the canteen or in the common room, playing carrom. The rest were spent in drunken sessions in Olypub and relentless "bridge" playing sessions in Victoria Memorial or GoRer MaTh. I dated a girl, who did nothing other than calling me, for a few months. Then she demanded that I marry her and that was the end. I weighed around a 110kgs, sported a really fearsome frenchcut and didn't expect any better girl to date me. Still, I was perfectly happy with my life. I wish I could say that now too. :P

Life tomorrow:

Will be good. Really good. I have only one class of duration one hour in the morning. And the rest of the day I can sleep. Or even daydream. Or maybe cook chicken masala for myself.
On second thoughts, I would rather stick to sleeping and daydreaming.

Five locations I would love to run away to:

1)Kolkata
2)New York City( it sooooo reminds me of Kolkata)
3)Shantiniketon(with my friends, a car and a lot of booze)
4)Honnah Lee(I miss my school days. I don't wanna be Jacky Pepper :( )
5)Dikshunyopur(wherever that may be)

Five bad habbits I have:

1)Procrastination. I was born lazy.
2)Bunking classes. I do that for no apparent reasons.
3)Overestimating my capabilities. I will have to stop leaving the studying till an hour before the finals. I WILL HAVE TO!
4)Thinking a lot about stuff I can't possibly do.
5)Telling the wrong things to wrong people. I have fucked up big time because of this. And I don't want a repeat show.

Five things I will never wear:

1)Monkey caps.......I would rather have my nose fall off from frost bite.
2)Fluorescent green shirts........my mother once tried to make me wear one. I tore it. :-|
3)Body hugging tee-s........simply because I don't quite have a physique worth showing off.
4)Pants which are not blue, black or maybe some shade of khaki..........I had a red cargo pant once upon a time. I wore it once or twice. They are aesthetically jarring. Really.
5)Moonglasses or whatever they are called.........you know, the lighter shade sunglasses some dumbheads wear all night long . I abhor them. Completely.

Five biggest joys at this moment:

1)Some of my writings have been published. Yay! Mostly in webzines and one in the printed edition of a little magazine. Double Yay!
2)I finally have a camera of my own. I have wanted a good digicam since like forever. Now that I have it, I am really happy.
3)I haven't had a haircut for 6 months. And for the first time in my life I actually can tie my hair into a nice little ponytail. How good is that!
4)That other day a young mexican waitress said that she can't tell whether I'm over 21 and wanted to see an age proof. That was the MOST unbelievable thing to happen in recent times. She actually might have liked me. :D
5)I am negotiating with a travel agent presently. For the air ticket back to home. And that very thought is more than enough reason to make me happy.

Something to achieve by next year:

A Masters degree and a good advisor.

Something that impacted me last year:

A somebody rather. Lets leave it at that.

What will I miss about 2007:

Just those random aDDa sessions in the three months I stayed in Kolkata. And nothing else.

Five things I want to do before I die:

1)Watch every good film ever made. I am doing fine till now. And make at least one myself.
2)Write two books. One on statistics and the other, an anthology of my poetry.
3)Buy my parents a new house.
4)Visit a few places like Paris, Athens, Venice and Bueinos Aires with somebody I will be in love with. :P
5)Watch Manchester United rip the arses off the Arse-anals in Old Trafford. From the stands of course( I can see it on Tv every single year, thats no big deal). RED TILL I DIE !!!!!!

That was long! Phew! I refuse to suffer alone. So I tag Jhumu, Bimbo , The Nymphetamine and whoever wants to do it. Ciao !

A rather pornographic letter.

2008-02-04T09:21:00.000+05:30

The new year didn't exactly have the most interesting start. In fact, its got to be one of the most boring new years I have ever had, Or will have, ever. The campus bus-es weren't running, I being a poor poor grad student, didn't have a car; as a result the liquor shop wasn't quite accessible, it was effing cold, my internet connection got screwed; and for some strange reason I, of all persons, deleted my goddamn orkut account. The resultant of so many different vectors can be difficult to find at times. In this case though, the answer's quite elementary. BOREDOM! A faint ray of hope as we made plans to go to Washington DC. As luck would have it, even that plan didn't work out. Sigh! The year was twenty four days old and yet I had nothing happening in my life that I could blog about.
Now there are persons who don't need things happening to blog. Some blog about ad jingles they used to hum as kids, some about trash cans, some about surreal imageries they cook up concerning dust particles or whatever. And all I can manage to do is go and try some wisecracks at their sincere efforts. Gosh! I am so pathetic. :-(
Ahh, come the twenty fifth day and something out of the box happened. Finally. In the afternoon I went up to my mail box and found a letter with "urgent" written on the envelope. I hurried back home and tore up the envelope. Inside was a self addressed return envelope and a strip of paper. I read the paper once, couldn't believe my eyes, read it twice , couldn't believe it still. It said if I signed the paper and sent it back in that envelope provided, some generous company is going to send me three dvds full of hardcore xxx porn! And that too, for free! Can you beat it? :-D
And alongwith the porn, I also had something to write about. For free, again.

P.S: Ohh, just in case you were interested. Though good porn can be a nice way to kill boredom, I didn't send back the form. Instead, I opened a new orkut account.

I want the world to know I am happy as can be

2007-12-28T11:13:00.000+05:30

Its party time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good times, wonderful things happening, fridge full of wine and cocktail bottles, what else do I need? So, hic hic houk houk.................

Rare achievements and random questions.

2007-12-15T11:35:00.000+05:30

Last thursday I had an exam. And it went....ahhhh....thhikthaak. Nothing extraordinary till now, you say?? I couldn't agree more. Ohh, just a small fact. Before the exam I sat tight in a effing library for three goddamned hours and, ummmm, kinda studied(*makes a straight face*). My mother didn't believe a word of this though. But I seriously did it. I did sit there inhaling the highly polluted air(the air in all libraries are, by default). For the first time in my life I spent more than ten minutes in a library. And I went about bragging about it to two people I know. One retaliated "only three hours? so whats the big deal?". Yeah! She hasn't known me long. The other person simply asked "are you alright?" Thats more like it, methinks.

I was walking around the campus this morning with my new camera in my hand. Clicking anything and everything that took my fancy. In the process I clicked the following pic. And I have been lost in thought since then.......

Should I continue with statistics? Or join the above department? Statistics, I am not so confident about. But alcohol studies, I can surely master the subject(*evilish grin*).

Apart from my future career prospects, another question's been haunting me for a few days. What more should I write in my blog? I have tried personal experiences, moral lectures, absolutely over the top cribbings, lame attempts to entertain etc. etc. What else can I try? And I came up with this. I will from now on, write film reviews too! Not all films, mind it. Only the best that there is. And, my next post will be the first of the lot. So, wait till I come back with my review of one of the most intriguing films ever made in India.........................

2007-12-11T09:24:00.000+05:30

It was a dark dark place. Suddenly, a light flickered. It wasn't much of a light, though. Still, it bore promises. The wind blew hard at it. The light didn't blow out. It burst into a flame instead. Then it rained. Heavily. For months. The flames didn't die. It broke into a fire. It has been snowing since. The prolonged frigidity has taken its toll. The fire has only got brighter than ever.

And the place has only got darker. Than ever.

Random songs and Tags!

2007-12-03T00:24:00.000+05:30

Rules:

1. Put your MP3 player on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write the name of the song no matter what. No cheating!

I got tagged by pNuTu . I had no idea about this whole "tagging" stuff. Thanks to the lady for guiding me. The whole concept seems to be pure fun. And my grad-student life is too fun-starved to ignore this. Its also a nice way to spend a lazy sunday afternoon. So, fasten your seat belts. Here I go......

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY?” YOU SAY?
I can't breathe anymore(David Gilmour) – that's a wonderful start!

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Ananda Sen(chandrabindoo) - uh! maybe......

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
tumi sondhyaro meghomala (Kabir Suman) –this is turning out to be great!

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Aar jaani na(Chandrabindoo) – should have been the answer to the next question! :P

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?

Prostuti (Kabir Suman) – for? apocalypse, maybe. :D

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Money (Pink FLoyd) - wowwwww!!!!!! thats so kewl! :D

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Aashay aashay bose achhi(Gautam Chattopadhyay) – sorry to disappoint you guys. I don't have enough money to make ISDs. :(

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Dinga bhasao saagor-e(Protul Mukhopadhyay) –the surname's right I guess. And I don't get the connection. :(

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Megh kaalo aaNdhar kalo. (Hemanta Mukherjee) – Wtf! thats typical sado-masochistic. typical me. :P

WHAT IS 2+2?
The ghost song (The Doors) - thats surrealism at its best. B-)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Let me live (Queen) – is he that bad?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Mother (Pink Floyd) - WTF! I am not an incest for god's sake!

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Tini bridhho holen(Kabir Suman) – I oughtta use some anti-ageing creme. Even the lappy knows! :(

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Aaguner poroshmoni(Sreekanta Acharya) - beware all. I am Hot. :P

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Tomake dekhchhi(Kabir Suman) – that is what I call a perfect match!

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Hallowed be thy name (Cradle of Filth) – should have been better the other way round.

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Moron re tNuhu momo shyamosoman (Kanika Bandyopadhyay) – my! my! this lappy's got some sense of humor!

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
aamar saadh na miTilo aasha na purilo(Pannalal Bhattacharya) – =))

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Tora ke jabi (Debabrata Biswas) – as in?

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Headless cross(Black Sabbath) – I am the antichrist. B-)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Purono guitar (Anjan Dutta) – nostalgia?

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Manush chena daay (Moheen-er ghoRaguli) – Thats the moral of the story folks. :D

Writing so many things has been an ordeal. So I plan on taking revenge. I tag the dreamy and the sociological siren. Shoo girls, go go.......

Uh oh erm........

2007-11-30T11:47:00.000+05:30

One of my orkut-friends(well, we are more than just orkut-friends now) wrote this blogpost about happiness. That is, about what happiness is and how we, the mere mortals spend our lives looking for it etc etc. And she quoted some of my wise wise words in her post. Being the wise person that I am, I expect to be quoted more often. But when was this world fair enough? Ok. That wasn't the point. I was just trying to say that even I can speak loads of good shit about happiness and stuff. Just like Taran Adarsh can be a good film critic.

What? You think Mr.Adarsh writes shit? Well well, he praised "Om Shanti Om" quite highly. And THAT is reason enough to make him a good film critic.

A few days back I was watching this slasher flick. And I reallized that I had always wanted to be a serial killer.

And thats the first step towards it. I have toiled much to make myself look like the most happening serial killer in India now. By the way, that guy has an unique way of killing people. Guess how? With his over the top music and nauseating nasal tone. Add to that his fine array of adjectives which consists of "excellent, mind blowing, fantastic, wonderful" and rebellious dressing sense. I can swear, he will kill you for sure and that too, in style.

Ok, its two in the morning and my thought process is far from being coherent. One of these days I am going to die of overdose. Of sleep, that is. But the brave knows no bounds. So I am off to sleep once again. With a promise to come back soon, with something darker. Much on my usual line. Till then, adios!

The disgruntled onlooker's insight into the life(or whatever) in the USA

2007-11-13T12:27:00.000+05:30

Part III: Rated R.

One fine evening when I was in the middle of a very interesting class(well, the lecture was not very interesting. But the blog that I was reading on my laptop was, quite), my phone rang. Rather started vibrating. Now, I don't exactly know how girls who keep their cellphones in jeans pockets feel when it vibrates. I would definitely like to know. Although only for the sake of increasing my general knowledge. But let me tell you this, its not quite a nice feeling for a guy. It sort of sends down shivers through one's ba*ls(remember the post is rated R). So I couldnot sit through it, went out of the class and took the call. A heavily accented American lady verified my name and kept on uttering loads of gibberish of which I could make no head nor tail. After a few minutes I heard "you get a free Playboy or a free Maxim magazine every month". Elated, I promptly said "yes! yes!". And the lady hung up. For those imbecile dimwits who have no clue as to what "Playboy" and "Maxim" are, I promise a pictorial tutorial at the end. For the others, its just a bait to make you read through to the end. Hee haw!

Two days later I received a letter stating that I had agreed on a contract with some publishers to receive 4 magazines for a period of 60 months in exchange of 17$ a month. Of course I had no idea of this. And it was also mentioned that I get a free "Playboy" magazine each month alongwith those 4. I, with a heavy heart, called them up and explained that I don't have any needs for any magazine. And there went my contract. And my free "Playboy" too. I, for once, considered asking if I get to keep the free "Playboy" but decided against it. Good senses prevail, they say.

Now, I practice what one of my well-wishers taught me. Whenever the phone rings and I pick it up to hear a heavily accented American voice, I promptly say "call back later, I am having sex!".

Ohhhh! Here are the pictures...........

P.S: Ahhh! To get one of those free!! I mean the magazines, not the girls :-P The girls wouldn't hurt though.

2007-11-08T00:12:00.000+05:30

I was swooning with delight yesterday. This morning all the yayness died as I was hit with another bout of loose motion. Now, thats what I call hitting under the belt. Since then I have been living on a generous diet of nun chinir shorbot and "meklin" pills. Somehow the beef sandwiches don't agree with me. They just don't. For no apparent reason. This is the third time this has happened. And I am not sure if this is the last. At least not till I have those "buy one get one free" coupons for beef sandwiches.

Yesterday was great , though. I turned an year older(sob sob!). Only a few remembered. And fewer called. Most importantly, they all were people who I wished would call. Or remember. I bunked classes. Remained indoors all day. Spent a lot of time thinking, staring blankly at the television, reading and watching two Bunuel films. Didn't even bother cooking. Ordered one beef sandwich for lunch(yippeee! I got another free) alongwith french fries and coke. My Albanian flatmate went on a date with an Albanian girl and after coming back, jokingly said "the girl asked to say hello to you". I answered "what else did she say? that I have the longest d**k she has ever had?". To this the guy didn't reply. Then I drank a little whiskey, alone, to my health. That didn't help though. But still, the whiskey I enjoyed. And went to sleep(which was hampered by the aforementioned bout). Overall, this has been one of the best birthdays I have had. And, I am sure I will be having quite a few similar birthdays in the forthcoming years. To that, Amen!

2007-11-07T11:40:00.000+05:30

A very happy birthday. To me. From me. Yay!!!!!!!

2007-10-29T00:14:00.001+05:30

No matter how he tried,
He could not break free.
And the worms ate into his brain.

Land Ho!

2007-09-27T10:40:00.001+05:30

Hopes.

Futility.

They go hand in hand. Sadly.

But the joker parties on! And the fool removes things from tabletop-s and laptops.

Words.

Memories.

Emotions.

Three things you cannot wipe off. For everything else there's toilet paper.

And still the joker sings merrily. And the fool shouts "Land ho!" in midsea. The world pretends that he's right.

The disgruntled onlooker's insight into the life(or whatever) in the USA

2007-09-14T10:11:00.000+05:30

Part II : Of whiskey, hotchicks and pain

Okay. That’s what a lot of whiskey does to me. Now, don’t laugh. Or else I may cut you into two. Hnu hNu baawa!

As for hot chicks, I have got two very serious reasons for not uploading any photos. First, this space is too limited for all of them(And alas! My kind self can't tolerate to see any one tight-ass big-bosomed beauty being preferred to another). Second, I generally, while taking pictures, concentrate on other parts of their body than the faces. So some people might even find those innocent pictures a bit "aesthetically jarring".

Huh! If you thought that I would again start my usual teary-eyed "raindrops keep falling" stuff with the pain part, this time I have you fooled. Yippee! The pain comes roughly twice a day. Once when you have to eat something for the lunch and once again when you have to take dinner. Cooking is a serious concern. For people like me, who have always had plates full of wonderful food put in front of them(even when you don't exactly feel hungry) by loving mothers and grandmothers, it is even worse. Believe me. Even if you are starving, the very thought of cooking something for yourself can be very disconcerting. In one way, actually it can be good. Oversized PIGS(poor Indian graduate students) who can't afford to eat out regularly and who can't manage to cook regularly, it actually helps them to reduce some extra flab. In maximum scenarios, the survival factor : MAGGI!!!!!!!!! And yes, I can cook very tasty maggi, that too in three different flavors!

P.S: That's where I go if I don't feel like cooking. Sometimes I go there even if I feel like cooking, if there's a generous friend hanging around with me.

The disgruntled onlooker's insight into the life(or whatever) in the USA

2007-09-02T10:04:00.000+05:30

Part I: A different dawn

17^th August, 2007. The day before, i.e 16^th, was an important day. Very important. Not only because it was my mother’s birthday but for some other reasons too. The night of the 16^th was stormy. But not a storm that everyone could see or feel. It even rained. But again, not the sort of rain everyone would be drenched in. As the storm and the rain subsided slowly in blissful sleep, it started to rain even harder. Only this time, the whole city was wet. The rain continued as I reached the airport around 5 in the morning( As someone later pointed out, I could have written that the city wept because I was leaving. But that is too melodramatic, too much me. So I deliberately decided not to write it). When I checked in, the sun was slowly coming out of the clouds. Then, a long and tiresome and uneventful journey punctuated by red wines and vodkas and whiskeys on the rocks. And about 30 hours later I was standing on a wooden verandah in a house in New Jersey. Watching the sky reddening. Watching the sun coming out once again. Only this time, an American sun on an unknown sky marking a different dawn. And for the first time in those 30 hrs the feeling sank in. I knew I was away from home. I knew I was not going back soon. And it rained once again. Inside.

P.S: This has been long due. Perhaps too long. Especially for someone like me who cribbed a lot about the usual leaving-ones-city-and-roots-and-going-abroad stuff. That too, publicly. May be even to some people’s dismay. But settling down in a new place, getting your internet connection up and working, cooking and above all, getting into a mood for writing, surely takes up a hell lot of a time. That is more or less what delayed this.

2007-07-27T01:08:00.000+05:30

Once upon a time, there were three brothers. They embarked upon a journey together. Days passed, weeks, months. And one morning they saw a beautiful fountain ahead. As they went nearer they saw an extremely beautiful girl sitting by the fountain. On seeing the three brothers, the girl said “my name is Beauty. Come hither and speak of what you think of me”. The eldest moved forward and said “my name is Any one and as he sees your breathtaking beauty, Any one wonders if he could make love to you”. Then, the younger brother moved forward and said “my name is Some one and as he sees your beautiful eyes, Some one thinks if could marry you and have children with you.” Then the youngest brother moved forward and said “my name is No one and as he sees your most charming self, No one thinks he doesn’t desire but only loves you.”

To this Beauty answered “Any one desires me, Some one wants me and No one loves me. I could have embraced Any one, married Some one. But I have decided to love No one.”

Aamar shohor

2007-07-21T23:51:00.001+05:30

I love you more and more each day as time goes by.......Bertie Higgins.

I have only a few days left in Calcutta(yes, I prefer Calcutta to the more bengalified Kolkata) and as the day approaches, slowly but steadily, the above song keeps coming back to my already pissed mind. Yeah! Pissed!! Thats what I am. Everyone around would expect me to be beaming with joy, thrilled at the prospects of a whole new world, lost in the eternal American dream. But I already miss my city.

Ret-e mosha din-e machhi
Ei niye Kolketay achhi..............Kobi Ishwar Gupta.

The 21 years that I have spent in Calcutta(+2 in a goddamned Kanpur, that makes me 23. Sigh!!!), every single day has been like a whole lifetime. Every person I have met, every place I have visited has a special memory attached to it. Sometimes it seems as if nothing about this city is ordinary. Be it the extremely messy traffic jams, the hartals, the numerous fairs going on all throughout the year, the waterlogged streets, the festivals .........every other thing about Calcutta seems to be weaving a magic touch on my otherwise ordinary life. Sometimes a healing touch. A walk amidst the book stalls in college street, the fragrances of new and old books in my veins have often calmed a brewing storm. Many a fond memories have been chalked on the ragged old carpets of Olypub(Ahhhh! Oly!!!! More on it later). On the alleys of this city I walked alone, made friends and foes alike, did what I didn't mean to, lost what I never knew if I wanted or not ............in Calcutta I found what I long for, most.

Ei shohor jaane amar prothom sobkichhu
Palate chai joto, se aase amar pichhu pichhu.............Kabir Suman.

This city has made me what I am today, it knows me inside out. And I have tried all these years to know her, to be one with her. And now when I will be leaving for New Jersey in a few days, I don't miss my parents as much as I miss her. There would be quite a few raised eyebrows on hearing that. But the greener pastures I am leaving for, promise me a better future when I can, in all probablities afford to have my parents by my side anywhere in the world. But with all the moolah in the world raked in, I won't be able to have even a tiny piece of Calcutta around me. That very thought hurts!! Muchly. And I want to come back. Desperately. Even before I've left. Maybe its my roots calling. Maybe my soul. Which strays along the roads of the city, wherever I am.

A (very)short story

2007-07-17T00:39:00.000+05:30

His beloved mother often accused him of being forgetful. Little did she know, how he spent his days yearning to forget.

He has always likened himself to a rock. Has always tried to take life as it comes. Pain, happiness, solitude, he received all with a nonchalant look in his eyes. But deep down, he longed. Longed with all his might for what he had no hope of acquiring. And at times when it bore down on his mind, he wished that he could forget everything. Every damn thing!! But then, forgetfulness is a bliss. And he was not blessed.

False accusations, he thought.

Naive old lady, he laughed.

"Bless me, o God!!!!!!!", he cried.

Disclaimer: Likenesses to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental.

Two sides of a coin....

2007-07-11T21:07:00.000+05:30

Life can be funny. Peculiar, to be exact. This morning my blissful sleep(induced by the huge amount of intoxicants I gulped down the previous evening, ahhhh, that reminds me of Oly, what a place!!!!!) was hit by a row of shrill cries and moanings and I woke to find that the ninety year old lady who lived next door had died. It felt quite strange. To start the day with a death. Though I wasn't very close to her, I have been seeing her standing on the barandah and talking with everyone who chanced upon to pass that way, from my very childhood. I sort of got used to her. Everytime I left my home for some errand, I heard her asking kothay cholle baba? She, her questions and her time out in the barandah had almost become a part of my daily routine. The instant my mother informed me of her death, the first thing to strike me was there would be no more questions from tomorrow. Maybe, felt a little sad too. In the afternoon when I was going out for my driving lessons I saw her body being taken to the burning ghaats in a car. The bed they carried her on was decorated with rajanigondha flowers. I stopped for a while, looked at the scene, paid a silent tribute to her soul and walked out of the golly. And there it was!! Another scene that hit me instantly. The decorator just opposite the golly was at his work, vehemently decorating a wedding car. And he used flowers to do so. Rajanigondha flowers. I pondered over the scene for a moment. Thought of the different facets of life. Smirked. Laughed a little. And went away to my work.
Huh!
Life indeed can be funny. Peculiar, to be exact.

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy........

2007-07-09T23:23:00.000+05:30

Yeah! One of the very few things that make me happy is sunshine. On my shoulders ala John Denver. Especially after the insanity in the name of rainfall that we had last week. Its a real relief to see the sun burning bright. Although much of that tends to ruin my complexion.

And yes, the real reason for me being happy is, sunshine means I can again wander around happily all over the city. Ohhh, did i mention being able to meet people more regularly?

FUQ (few unanswered questions)

2007-07-09T14:19:00.000+05:30

A new blog. A new horizon. Lots of new ideas. Few, that will be executed. Maybe none. Then why the toil? Maybe because it always feels good to start afresh. Not only a blog, but life, in general. Maybe because it feels even better to fool a lot of people with random shit written purposefully. Or maybe just because I don't have anything better to do. You would never know. You wouldn't need to know, rather. You would probably come by someday, see some pictures, read some lines, leave an unnecessary comment and leave. You won't even notice the fagments of my life, my mind scattered all over this place. But then, it's better that way.