Dhusssssss.........

Kissu bhallagchhe na :( :( :( :(

Some jokes are meant to be funny...

.........But he isn't.



This summer be scared. Be VERY scared. Of his jokes. Of his looks. Of his claps. Of his phone calls. And of his pencil disappearing tricks. Because this summer onwards evil has a new name. And it's spelt as JOKER!!!! Not Max Cady, Jack Torrance, Hannibal Lecter, Alex or Anton Chigurh. But JOKER.

I have always thought of Nolan as the best storyteller of present day Hollywood. Not only because he made Memento. But because he dared to make The Following and also because he made Batman Begins. Which, before TDK happened, was the best superhero film I have ever seen. I also maintained that with Christian Bale, Hollywood is in able hands. And boy, did they deliver in TDK! Alongwith the ever charming Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman and the otherwise stone-faced Aron Eckhart, who btw is wonderful as Harvey Two face, they make TDK one of the most visually stunning experiences on screen. And the best superhero film. Ever. I won't go into discussing the technicalities or the crooked storyline or any other details. Because this is not a review but a gushfest. As this, is the only film that has not lived up to the hype it created, but actually surpassed it. This is the only sequel I have seen that is better than the original. And after this, superhero films won't be the same ever. TDK has redefined a genre. And in style.

There was this another person called Heath Ledger who was supposed to have played a major role in the film. I didn't see him though. But I did see Joker. This guy called Jack Nicholson once crossed a line and saw himself become a caricature. The Joker walked the line between true evil and humor. That too with a smile on his face. For us, the ladies and gentlemen, he"ll not only be tonight's entertainment but true embodiment of evil that"ll haunt us. Forever.

Om "Shanti Home"

It all started one fine evening in Olypub. It hasn't ended yet. And it won't. Never.

As we were merrily drinking along and enjoying the beefsteaks and chicken-a-la-kievs someone said "lets plan a trip together". Everyone nodded in drunken unanimity. Little did we know what awaited us. Three to four days later, it suddenly occurred to me that my uncle has an empty house in Shantiniketon. Phone calls followed. Then there were a lot of persuasions, plannings, apprehensions. And one fine afternoon eight friends were waiting at Howrah station for the Howrah Maldah Town Intercity Express. Not that everyone was equally well acquainted with the others. But everything changed in the two days to follow. The journey, the anecdotes, the "chhoRanos", the wonderful house, the booze, the weed, the drunken stupors and the list could go on forever. But again, that would only be a list. The experience, I don't have words to describe it. I fail utterly to express how it felt to be completely drenched in the rain and splash around in the breathtakingly gorgeous Kopai river. That too with five beautiful women :P I search around for words when after midnight amidst all the inebriations, someone sits up straight and with closed eyes starts singing "aamar nishitho raat-ero baadol dhara". And there were also the "bangla panu" reading sessions by the candlelight, the erotic "mohuay jomechhe aaj mou go" dancings, the "chaa" and "aloor chop" rendezvous' at a roadside "jhupRi" and spending the last evening in Prinsep ghat watching a magnificent sky glorified further by a sad sun setting. The two days changed eight lives. Forever. Only time will tell whether we'll all be friends in the future too. But there always will be a part of each one of us that will crave for the seven others. Some figments of memories that will remain, some little things that will make us laugh even after twenty years. And Shantiniketon will always be a place we would associate with us, a place that formed an inexplicable bond between eight people. And I already miss that place.

Everything that goes up, comes down. But everyhting that starts doesn't end. This IS it. We plan to do this again and again. But whether we do or not, we'll relive the memories. Time and again. OM "SHANTI HOME" to that.

P.S: For those ineterested you can see the pictures at
1) http://picasaweb.google.com/tapabratabanerjee/Shantiniketan
2) http://picasaweb.google.com/bichienator/ShantiniketonTrip

Pity is very much the last fucking thing I ask for. Ever.

Of food and losing weight

There was once a time when I weighed around 110 kgs. Until two weeks ago I weighed 74 kgs. Everyone kept asking me how I could lose almost 40 Kgs in about two years. And I kept saying that its all due to my exercise regime which consisted of running around 2 miles, 3 to 4 days a week(the "mile" also helped flaunt my American connection, though it doesn't help much :-( ). Another reason that I didn't mention was the food. Not that I ate less or skipped meals or ate less healthy food. But notably for the last three years I have been mostly living away from home. Not that I am complaining. Everyone needs to stay away from home at least for a year or so. It enriches your experiences, helps you become truly independent and most importantly of all, allows you to booze as much as you want. For teetotallers it allows you to smoke as much as you want. For teetotallers and non smokers, God Help You! That apart, I was talking about staying away from home. Now, the single most important thing about it is you don't get food cooked by your mom. Which sucks. Bigtime. My mom cooks excellent food. I am sure that everyone else's mom also does. But the taste is quite immaterial in our present discussion. Its the very fact that its home made concerns us. I have been home about two weeks. And I have already gained around 5 kgs and developed a cute little pot shaped belly. Now my old denims fit. But that also means I can't buy new ones. And this little observation about my gain in weight made me reallize that the most important factor behind losing weight is not being able to have home made food.
A lot of people around me have been trying to lose weight. If you are reading this, take my advice. Stay away from home for about an year and see the result. And I won't even charge you for the advice. The good hearted chap that I am :-)

P.S: I had wonderful biryani in a shabby place in Baruipur. Golbari reopened. My mother's recovered completely and is in a cooking spree. Looks like I will be my old self when I go back in another two months.

Homecoming.

10 months and 10 days. Exactly. And I was coming back home. Long flight. Bandhs. Long waits . Delayed trains. Then two faces peeking in from the window. And two more standing eagerly at the doorsteps of the old house. I don't ask for nothing else.

And then there's the city. Nothing's changed. Really. Except for some faces. And that's the way I like it.

I have come back to life :-)

Another tag.

I didn't get tagged this time. But on reading this here, I decided to do it myself. Not because it looked interesting but I had nothing better to do. So there you go.

1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER?
Tare Zameen Par. I want half of my money back.

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
Theory of point estimation by E.L.Lehmann. Its actually pretty interesting.

3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
Ludo. The usual one. And I hate saap-ludo. I always find the snake. :(

4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?
Used to be Anandamela and MAD. Nowadays I prefer Maxim.

5. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Wet earth, any variety of alcohol, ChNapa ful-er gondho, LyangRa aam. And I absolutely love the way my mother smells.

6. FAVORITE SOUND?
The sound of silence. :D On a serious note, the sound of my watch ticking away. I love to listen to it, observe it as each second rushes by.

7.WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD:
Humiliation. I can’t live with it.

8.FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP?
“Shoot! Why? Why? WHY??!!”

9. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
Tough one. It can be Hot Kati Roll, maybe Humro Momo. But, I think I would go with Aadi Maloncho in Haatibagan. Heavenly chicken kabirajis! *drools*

10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME:
If it’s a boy then “ghonTa” and if it’s a girl then “pNuTi”. Btw, when I was primary school, there was this hugely popular Bengali song “pNuTir maa pNuTir maa, pNuTike biye korbo na” :D :D

11. FINISH THIS STATEMENT.
"If I had a lot of money I would...buy myself a beach house and spend the rest of my life relaxing on a hammock with beers and steaks on the table beside.

12.DO YOU DRIVE FAST?
I don't drive.

13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
WTF????!!!!!!

14. STORMS-COOL OR SCARY?
Very very cool.

15. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
As far as I remember I got a tractor and a fire engine together. This reminds me that according to my grandparents, unlike other kids who learn to speak “baba”, “ma” etc first, my first words were “gaayiii”. :P

16. FAVORITE DRINK?
Good scotch. On the rocks.

17. FINISH THIS STATEMENT,
"IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD... sleep more. I don’t get enough sleep nowadays. I stay awake for almost 9-10 hours every day. :(

18. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI?
Huh! I am chlorophyllophobic.

19. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?
I like my hair as it is. Thank you.

20. NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS YOU HAVE LIVED IN.
Calcutta, Kanpur, Piscataway.

21. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Soccer all the way.

22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU:
She’s the most random talker I’ve seen. And in the nicest possible way.

23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
The carpet, I guess.

24. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN?
Absolutely. I totally love myself.

25. MORNING PERSON, OR NIGHT OWL?
Late night owl.

26. OVER EASY, OR SUNNY SIDE UP?
Sunny side up.

27. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX?
My bed.

28. FAVORITE PIE?
Chocolate pecan pies and chocolate fudge pies.

29.FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Chocolate. I gorge on chocolate fudge brownie.

30. OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU TAGGED THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST?
I really don’t know. I am very bad at guessing. :(

I have an exam tomorrow morning. And another one, a big big one in just a few days time. And I am up at 2:00 in the night doing good for nothing tags. I tag the short one, the tall one and the nymph. I really hope at least one of them does this. So that at my deathbed I will get some solace knowing that my effort didn't go in vain. Ohh, and methinks the last line makes me a suitable candidate for the post of the scriptwriter for the next Ekta Kapoor mega.