Uh oh erm........

Friday, November 30, 2007

One of my orkut-friends(well, we are more than just orkut-friends now) wrote this blogpost about happiness. That is, about what happiness is and how we, the mere mortals spend our lives looking for it etc etc. And she quoted some of my wise wise words in her post. Being the wise person that I am, I expect to be quoted more often. But when was this world fair enough? Ok. That wasn't the point. I was just trying to say that even I can speak loads of good shit about happiness and stuff. Just like Taran Adarsh can be a good film critic.

What? You think Mr.Adarsh writes shit? Well well, he praised "Om Shanti Om" quite highly. And THAT is reason enough to make him a good film critic.

A few days back I was watching this slasher flick. And I reallized that I had always wanted to be a serial killer.

And thats the first step towards it. I have toiled much to make myself look like the most happening serial killer in India now. By the way, that guy has an unique way of killing people. Guess how? With his over the top music and nauseating nasal tone. Add to that his fine array of adjectives which consists of "excellent, mind blowing, fantastic, wonderful" and rebellious dressing sense. I can swear, he will kill you for sure and that too, in style.

Ok, its two in the morning and my thought process is far from being coherent. One of these days I am going to die of overdose. Of sleep, that is. But the brave knows no bounds. So I am off to sleep once again. With a promise to come back soon, with something darker. Much on my usual line. Till then, adios!

The disgruntled onlooker's insight into the life(or whatever) in the USA

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Part III: Rated R.

One fine evening when I was in the middle of a very interesting class(well, the lecture was not very interesting. But the blog that I was reading on my laptop was, quite), my phone rang. Rather started vibrating. Now, I don't exactly know how girls who keep their cellphones in jeans pockets feel when it vibrates. I would definitely like to know. Although only for the sake of increasing my general knowledge. But let me tell you this, its not quite a nice feeling for a guy. It sort of sends down shivers through one's ba*ls(remember the post is rated R). So I couldnot sit through it, went out of the class and took the call. A heavily accented American lady verified my name and kept on uttering loads of gibberish of which I could make no head nor tail. After a few minutes I heard "you get a free Playboy or a free Maxim magazine every month". Elated, I promptly said "yes! yes!". And the lady hung up. For those imbecile dimwits who have no clue as to what "Playboy" and "Maxim" are, I promise a pictorial tutorial at the end. For the others, its just a bait to make you read through to the end. Hee haw!

Two days later I received a letter stating that I had agreed on a contract with some publishers to receive 4 magazines for a period of 60 months in exchange of 17$ a month. Of course I had no idea of this. And it was also mentioned that I get a free "Playboy" magazine each month alongwith those 4. I, with a heavy heart, called them up and explained that I don't have any needs for any magazine. And there went my contract. And my free "Playboy" too. I, for once, considered asking if I get to keep the free "Playboy" but decided against it. Good senses prevail, they say.

Now, I practice what one of my well-wishers taught me. Whenever the phone rings and I pick it up to hear a heavily accented American voice, I promptly say "call back later, I am having sex!".

Ohhhh! Here are the pictures...........

Ahhh! To get one of those free!! I mean the magazines, not the girls :-P The girls wouldn't hurt though.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

I was swooning with delight yesterday. This morning all the yayness died as I was hit with another bout of loose motion. Now, thats what I call hitting under the belt. Since then I have been living on a generous diet of nun chinir shorbot and "meklin" pills. Somehow the beef sandwiches don't agree with me. They just don't. For no apparent reason. This is the third time this has happened. And I am not sure if this is the last. At least not till I have those "buy one get one free" coupons for beef sandwiches.

Yesterday was great , though. I turned an year older(sob sob!). Only a few remembered. And fewer called. Most importantly, they all were people who I wished would call. Or remember. I bunked classes. Remained indoors all day. Spent a lot of time thinking, staring blankly at the television, reading and watching two Bunuel films. Didn't even bother cooking. Ordered one beef sandwich for lunch(yippeee! I got another free) alongwith french fries and coke. My Albanian flatmate went on a date with an Albanian girl and after coming back, jokingly said "the girl asked to say hello to you". I answered "what else did she say? that I have the longest d**k she has ever had?". To this the guy didn't reply. Then I drank a little whiskey, alone, to my health. That didn't help though. But still, the whiskey I enjoyed. And went to sleep(which was hampered by the aforementioned bout). Overall, this has been one of the best birthdays I have had. And, I am sure I will be having quite a few similar birthdays in the forthcoming years. To that, Amen!

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

A very happy birthday. To me. From me. Yay!!!!!!!