Clothing et al.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Unlike other guys I actually like shopping. I like to go around malls, try out fancy looking tee's and jeans. I even like to buy a few if I have the money. Just a few days before I left Kolkata, I was in Camac Street Pantaloons along with one of my friends. I was looking to buy a watch for myself, and she was looking for one for her boyfriend. After we were done with the watches, another guy came along. Me and him, we were browsing through the men's section for almost half an hour. The girl got so frustrated that when she saw us discussing which Jockey underwear to wear to work, she blurted out "jockey kinis na. amar boyfriend bolechhe jockey-r elastic baaje. alga hoye giye sob dholdhol kore. taarche Hanes ken. tight thakbe". Which literally translates as "Don't go for jockey. My boyfriend said that their elastic's no good and becomes saggy soon. Go for Hanes instead, it keeps everything in place".
Unsolicited advice, I must say. :-|

So, it has been a lean phase for me after I ended up in New Jersey. In these seven months I have managed to buy only a jacket for myself. The jacket, I don't like much. Its pretty warm. But it makes me look fat. Come on, I have lost about 30kgs in two years. And still, when I wear this jacket I look like I weigh over a 100kgs. One of my friends saw me wearing the jacket and said "What the hell were you wearing? A canopy?" I refuse to wear it anymore. Anyone wants to buy a nice, warm, good looking, rarely used jacket? Er, what was I saying? Yeah! I haven't managed to buy any clothing for myself in these seven months. In other words, I haven't had anything new to wear in these seven months. And now, Dreamy asks me to do this fun and nostalgic sorta tag, which I enjoy doing, and suddenly everyone wants to buy me new pair of pants. So, lets see. I've an offer for a pair of pink pants, green pants, purple pants and even "bashonti" colored pants. So that makes four new pairs of pants. Ohh, I so love you people. And I so love the tag. And I am so thankful to the girl who tagged me , I may even offer her the pink pair.

And yes, I have made up my mind. From now on, whenever I need a new tee or a new pair of jeans I am going to do the tag all over again. Fellow bloggers are nice people, you know. :-D

Tagged !!

Monday, February 25, 2008

I have been tagged. By dreamy doodle do. So much has been happening recently that I couldn't decide which one incident to write about. Whether it should be about the 21$ I lost out in a casino in Atlantic City, or the worst hangover I ever had from excessive drinking or my Albanian friend whose laptop I formatted and can't make it work again, I simply had no idea. Now the tag thing solves the problem. And in any case, my quota of cribbing about my ohh-so-pathetic life is filled. :-P So onto the tag..........forward march.

Life ten years ago:

Was pretty simple. School was about everything my world consisted of. The journey in a chartered bus, fighting with kids from other schools, getting late into the first class everyday, standing half of the day in front the Principal's room, running around and creating a whole lotta ruckus with my huge group of friends during the tiffinbreak and what not. Puberty was settling in, we were becoming more and more interested in "late night movies" in local cable channels and graphic discussions of several human organs. The girls we have been studying with since the very childhood suddenly started putting on weight, at the right places and before we knew, they were young ladies. And we were those confused brats who had no clue about what's going on and kept fighting over some girl we liked. Then there was cricket. All types. Plastic balls, paper balls, "cambis" balls, rubber balls, deuce balls, you name it we tried it. Everyone used to put a lot of effort in the cricket field. Not because there was a tremendous hype with the resurgence of "Dada", but only because the guys who played well got some more attention from girls. :P Nowadays, I don't even watch cricket. And I don't remember the last time I played a serious game myself. Yeah! Ten years is a looooooooong time. :-(

Life Five years ago:

I was a second year student in St.Xaviers, Kolkata. I loved my college. I spent most of it in the canteen or in the common room, playing carrom. The rest were spent in drunken sessions in Olypub and relentless "bridge" playing sessions in Victoria Memorial or GoRer MaTh. I dated a girl, who did nothing other than calling me, for a few months. Then she demanded that I marry her and that was the end. I weighed around a 110kgs, sported a really fearsome frenchcut and didn't expect any better girl to date me. Still, I was perfectly happy with my life. I wish I could say that now too. :P

Life tomorrow:

Will be good. Really good. I have only one class of duration one hour in the morning. And the rest of the day I can sleep. Or even daydream. Or maybe cook chicken masala for myself.
On second thoughts, I would rather stick to sleeping and daydreaming.

Five locations I would love to run away to:

2)New York City( it sooooo reminds me of Kolkata)
3)Shantiniketon(with my friends, a car and a lot of booze)
4)Honnah Lee(I miss my school days. I don't wanna be Jacky Pepper :( )
5)Dikshunyopur(wherever that may be)

Five bad habbits I have:

1)Procrastination. I was born lazy.
2)Bunking classes. I do that for no apparent reasons.
3)Overestimating my capabilities. I will have to stop leaving the studying till an hour before the finals. I WILL HAVE TO!
4)Thinking a lot about stuff I can't possibly do.
5)Telling the wrong things to wrong people. I have fucked up big time because of this. And I don't want a repeat show.

Five things I will never wear:

1)Monkey caps.......I would rather have my nose fall off from frost bite.
2)Fluorescent green mother once tried to make me wear one. I tore it. :-|
3)Body hugging tee-s........simply because I don't quite have a physique worth showing off.
4)Pants which are not blue, black or maybe some shade of khaki..........I had a red cargo pant once upon a time. I wore it once or twice. They are aesthetically jarring. Really.
5)Moonglasses or whatever they are know, the lighter shade sunglasses some dumbheads wear all night long . I abhor them. Completely.

Five biggest joys at this moment:

1)Some of my writings have been published. Yay! Mostly in webzines and one in the printed edition of a little magazine. Double Yay!
2)I finally have a camera of my own. I have wanted a good digicam since like forever. Now that I have it, I am really happy.
3)I haven't had a haircut for 6 months. And for the first time in my life I actually can tie my hair into a nice little ponytail. How good is that!
4)That other day a young mexican waitress said that she can't tell whether I'm over 21 and wanted to see an age proof. That was the MOST unbelievable thing to happen in recent times. She actually might have liked me. :D
5)I am negotiating with a travel agent presently. For the air ticket back to home. And that very thought is more than enough reason to make me happy.

Something to achieve by next year:

A Masters degree and a good advisor.

Something that impacted me last year:

A somebody rather. Lets leave it at that.

What will I miss about 2007:

Just those random aDDa sessions in the three months I stayed in Kolkata. And nothing else.

Five things I want to do before I die:

1)Watch every good film ever made. I am doing fine till now. And make at least one myself.
2)Write two books. One on statistics and the other, an anthology of my poetry.
3)Buy my parents a new house.
4)Visit a few places like Paris, Athens, Venice and Bueinos Aires with somebody I will be in love with. :P
5)Watch Manchester United rip the arses off the Arse-anals in Old Trafford. From the stands of course( I can see it on Tv every single year, thats no big deal). RED TILL I DIE !!!!!!

That was long! Phew! I refuse to suffer alone. So I tag Jhumu, Bimbo , The Nymphetamine and whoever wants to do it. Ciao !

A rather pornographic letter.

Monday, February 4, 2008

The new year didn't exactly have the most interesting start. In fact, its got to be one of the most boring new years I have ever had, Or will have, ever. The campus bus-es weren't running, I being a poor poor grad student, didn't have a car; as a result the liquor shop wasn't quite accessible, it was effing cold, my internet connection got screwed; and for some strange reason I, of all persons, deleted my goddamn orkut account. The resultant of so many different vectors can be difficult to find at times. In this case though, the answer's quite elementary. BOREDOM! A faint ray of hope as we made plans to go to Washington DC. As luck would have it, even that plan didn't work out. Sigh! The year was twenty four days old and yet I had nothing happening in my life that I could blog about.
Now there are persons who don't need things happening to blog. Some blog about ad jingles they used to hum as kids, some about trash cans, some about surreal imageries they cook up concerning dust particles or whatever. And all I can manage to do is go and try some wisecracks at their sincere efforts. Gosh! I am so pathetic. :-(
Ahh, come the twenty fifth day and something out of the box happened. Finally. In the afternoon I went up to my mail box and found a letter with "urgent" written on the envelope. I hurried back home and tore up the envelope. Inside was a self addressed return envelope and a strip of paper. I read the paper once, couldn't believe my eyes, read it twice , couldn't believe it still. It said if I signed the paper and sent it back in that envelope provided, some generous company is going to send me three dvds full of hardcore xxx porn! And that too, for free! Can you beat it? :-D
And alongwith the porn, I also had something to write about. For free, again.

P.S: Ohh, just in case you were interested. Though good porn can be a nice way to kill boredom, I didn't send back the form. Instead, I opened a new orkut account.