Aamar shohor

I love you more and more each day as time goes by.......Bertie Higgins.

I have only a few days left in Calcutta(yes, I prefer Calcutta to the more bengalified Kolkata) and as the day approaches, slowly but steadily, the above song keeps coming back to my already pissed mind. Yeah! Pissed!! Thats what I am. Everyone around would expect me to be beaming with joy, thrilled at the prospects of a whole new world, lost in the eternal American dream. But I already miss my city.

Ret-e mosha din-e machhi
Ei niye Kolketay achhi..............Kobi Ishwar Gupta.

The 21 years that I have spent in Calcutta(+2 in a goddamned Kanpur, that makes me 23. Sigh!!!), every single day has been like a whole lifetime. Every person I have met, every place I have visited has a special memory attached to it. Sometimes it seems as if nothing about this city is ordinary. Be it the extremely messy traffic jams, the hartals, the numerous fairs going on all throughout the year, the waterlogged streets, the festivals .........every other thing about Calcutta seems to be weaving a magic touch on my otherwise ordinary life. Sometimes a healing touch. A walk amidst the book stalls in college street, the fragrances of new and old books in my veins have often calmed a brewing storm. Many a fond memories have been chalked on the ragged old carpets of Olypub(Ahhhh! Oly!!!! More on it later). On the alleys of this city I walked alone, made friends and foes alike, did what I didn't mean to, lost what I never knew if I wanted or not ............in Calcutta I found what I long for, most.

Ei shohor jaane amar prothom sobkichhu
Palate chai joto, se aase amar pichhu pichhu.............Kabir Suman.

This city has made me what I am today, it knows me inside out. And I have tried all these years to know her, to be one with her. And now when I will be leaving for New Jersey in a few days, I don't miss my parents as much as I miss her. There would be quite a few raised eyebrows on hearing that. But the greener pastures I am leaving for, promise me a better future when I can, in all probablities afford to have my parents by my side anywhere in the world. But with all the moolah in the world raked in, I won't be able to have even a tiny piece of Calcutta around me. That very thought hurts!! Muchly. And I want to come back. Desperately. Even before I've left. Maybe its my roots calling. Maybe my soul. Which strays along the roads of the city, wherever I am.