Year end balance sheets

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?

lied. to friends and family. and also grew a ponytail :D

2. Did you keep your new years resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I never make new year resolutions.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

nope.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

nope.

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

21st May, 2008. Man Utd painted Moscow red. And 31st May. because of no specific reasons.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

let me see. nothing.

9. What was your biggest failure?

academics. but then it has been my biggest failure for quite some time.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

naah.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

Tapo. he believed. Somnathda and Peulidi. they know not what I owe to them.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

none.

14. Where did most of your money go?

food. house rent. beer. books.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

nothing really.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?

"Suzanne"-- Leonard Cohen.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?

I would say, happier. Much happier.

19. What do you wish you'd done more of?

studying.

20. What do you wish you'd done less of?

dreaming, building castles in the air, brooding and throwing tantrums.

21. How will you be spending Christmas?

just chatting with some friends, having good food, maybe watching a good film.

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?

I fall in love everyday :)

23. How many one night stands?

none.

24. What was your favourite TV programme?

FRIENDS, The big bang theory, Weeds.

26. What was the best book you read?

Hungry generation rochona sonkolon

Difficult loves by Italo Calvino.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Freddie King, John Lee Hooker, T-bone Walker, Little Richard. I am in absolute love with delta blues.

28. What did you want and get?

A wonderful 3 month vacation in home. and proximity.

29. What did you want and not get?

cracking the quals. and proximity.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?

The Dark Knight.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

turned 25. spent a quiet day all alone. bought a bottle of scotch. got drunk while waiting for a call that never came. lost my temper and shouted and cursed. that pretty much sums it up.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

if only I learnt to bury utopian thoughts and for once face my life.

34. What kept you sane?

poetry, films, music. and ocassional phone calls.

37. Who was the worst new person you met?

I didn't meet anyone new.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

I told ya. I didn't meet anyone new. I am a social outcast :)

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.

"Reality continues to ruin my life" :)

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

"I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life

I took a heavenly ride turough our silence
I knew the waiting had begun
And headed straight... into the shining sun"

Equus

Yes! I watched the broadway show. Mr.Potter proved that jumping around on the stage naked doesn't make him a good actor. His Uncle Vernon instead stole the show. Overall it was an excellent production. I have now read the play, watched the film, watched the bengali adaptation(which in its own rights was exceptionally good), watched the broadway show. And now, as Dr.Dysart would say " When Equus leaves, if he leaves at all, it will be with his intestines in his teeth". The horse's head, the metal chains in their mouth will remain with me. At least for some time.

Last night me and two friends drove to the Newark Liberty International airport to pick up a friend who was coming back from India. When we reached the gates, this friend of ours hasn't arrived and so we decide to wait for him. But the cops won't let us wait there. So we have to get out on the highway, drive around for some time and then come back. And we inevitably lose our way, ending up in a shady neighborhood in Newark city at 11:30 in the night. Now, Newark has a predominantly black and hispanic population and has had its share of mugging, gunshots, arson, sexual assaults and murder. Quite more than any other city in New Jersey. So we drive around for some time, trying to get back on the highway. Finally we stop at this pizza place and a huge black guy comes over to us menacingly. He raises his giant hands, greets us and on learning that we have lost our way, directs us quite cordially. We then try to follow his directions and get lost again.

We finally found our way but that is not the point. From the day I have stepped my foot in this country, I have heard about black men terrorizing unsuspecting whites or asians at every street corners. But all I have got from them till now are huge smiles, warm "hello, how ya doing today?"s. And now, this. I guess not everyone around me is a racist. Perhaps its me who's lucky. And I am not complaining.


Oh, my Albanian and Italian roomies were having a heated discussion a few days ago. They were counting how many places they have been to, that the other hasn't seen. Clearly the Italian guy was winning. And then the Albanian guy asked him "have you ever been to Albania?". The Italian answered "no". To this the Albanian replied "well well, I have been to Albania. quite a lot of times". Rich, huh?

Ah! The pain, the pain! At times it almost kills me. But mostly, it keeps me going :)

A night at the University.

10th December, 2008 will always be a memorable day. I had a homework due. A homework that needed a lot of computer programming and bits of statistics also. Now, the statistics I can do at home. But for the programming part I needed to go to my department lab which is like 7-8 minutes walking distance from my place. I had been planning to get this over with for the entire last month. But somehow, the cold weather with occasional drizzles and my special talent in procrastination prevented me from doing it. Also, my lack of memory didn't help my cause. Otherwise I could have done it on any of the numerous occasions I went to the department to do a class or for some other purpose. So, I was there sitting on my living room couch at 11 in the night, thinking that I should do something about the homework. And I decide to have dinner. Normally I hate cooking. But now since I have more important work to do, cooking feels great. So I cook musur daal, double dim-er omelette, a torkari with mixed vegetables and bhaat and have a sumptuous dinner. All this takes about an hour. Then it occurs to me that I really need to do some programming. So I have some ice cream(irish creme flavored) alongwith sherry. By the time I finish its already 12:30 and its started to drizzle. Alarmed by the dire situation in hand I get dressed, arm my backpack with chips, a bottle of pepsi and an umbrella and start walking towards the department. When I reach there, I am quite soaked and the umbrella is as dry as Canada(that'll put Sidhu to shame). So, I go up to the lab which is expectedly quite empty and work for half an hour and bored, start reading Calvin & Hobbes from the internet. Now, Calvin & Hobbes is a wonderful creation in itself. I have been rediscovering it in the last few months. And nothing other than Calvin and Calvino has moved me in that time. Anyways, I was having a great time exploring the space with Spaceman Spiff when a friend buzzed me in gmail. One may wonder what has gmail got to do with statistical programming. I would like to bypass the question. While chatting with him, I discovered that Facebook has lots of things to play around with. Around 3:00 I suddenly reallized that I have done almost nothing and went back to work and around 3:05 I reallize that I lack the expertise to do the work remaining. Relieved, I go back to Calvin and my pack of chips, which by the way were great. I tell you Doritos nacho cheese is too good. Its a bit spicy, so you cant possibly have it with liquor. It will then definitely give you acidity which is bad. But with pepsi they are great. A lot of people don't like Doritos. I wonder why. I even like their plain tortilla chips which taste awesome with salsa. Anyway, when the chips finishied, I had nothin to eat. And I decided to take a walk through the department. Now, I tell you taking a walk through a 7 storey building at 4 in the morning can be creepy. But I, being the ever valiant Knight of Bichiland, took a tour of the whole building. At every passage I thought it would be great if a serial killer jumps me or a Japanese girl with her hair all over her face starts crawling at me out of nowhere. Nothing of the sorts happened and I found myself infront of a cookie vending machine some half an hour later. Living. Unscathed. And bored. Thus went the saga till 10:00 in the morning when I finally called up my senior and and asked for his help. He immediately asked me to come over to his place. On reaching he offered help. And breakfast. Which was indeed a bigger help. I spent another hour there and figured out the problems. Later he dropped me home and I let myself drop on the bed and delve into unconsciousness. So, whats so special about the night? Almost a day and a half without sleep? Naah, I have done that. But almost 10 hours in a lab? Thats something I have never dreamt of doing. And one day when this blog will be no more, I can even boast to people that I actually worked for those 10 hours :D

Agdum Bagdum Tag-dum

Amio tag korbo. Byas! Churi kore holeo korbo :D

1.What does your user name mean?
The None? Just signifies the non-entity that I am. More interesting should be my gmail username. Bichienator. Which is a convex combination of Bichi and Terminator. The latter because I am a fan and the former because it was my nickname in high school :D

2. Elaborate on your user photo:
My pseudo-intellectual look photo complete with a red punjabi and a Satyajit pose.

3. How many comments do you have?
4 in the last post. Tar modhye ekTa abar amar nijer kora.

4. What's your current relationship status?
Single. Ami ekaaaaaaaa. Ekmebadwitiyom! :(

5. What exactly are you wearing right now?
A pair of shorts.

6. What is your current problem?
That I have a download limit.

7. What do you love most?
Thinking. I think so much that I tend to lose my sleep.

8. What makes you most happy?
Inactivity.

9. Are you musically inclined?
Sort of.

10. What would you do if you woke up one morning and found out you were on cocaine?
Thank Clapton for it.

11. If you could go back in time, and change something, what would it be?
The two days I couldn't sleep. I would like to sleep through them.

12. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day, what would you be?
A bear. In hibernation.

13. Ever have a near death experience?
Naah.

14. Name an obvious quality you have?
I can bore people?

15. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
"Ha daiyaa hum ka bataye duty double sasuraar mein". Serioulsly. Listen to it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fevXWdQn0PI

16. Are you happy today?
Ecstatic.

17. Who will cut and paste this to first?
How should I know?

18. Name someone with the same birthday as you:
My friend Sambit Gan. I used to call him "jonogon".

19. Do you have a secret crush on someone?
Yes, yes. Cobie Smulders, please. The lady's hot!

20. Do you have a garbage disposal in your kitchen sink?
Jani na to!

21. Have you ever been in a fight?
Yes. Lots. In school. Over chocolates, girls and cricket.

22. Have you ever sang in front of a large audience?
Music tests till class four. I used to sing the national anthem every year.

23. What's the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex:
The hair. My friends think its the ass though. They don't believe I can think highly about women.

24. Whats your biggest mistake?
Keeping the lid of a vodka bottle open for two days. Almost all the vodka vanished in thin air.

25. Say something totally random about you?
I drool when I sleep without a pillow. And I often dream of tentacles growing out of my body.

26. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Yes. A few people said I look like Robert Mitchum, Danny Trejo, Biplab Chatterjee and Satyajit Ray :D

27. Are you comfortable with your height?
I would like to be two inches taller. That way no one can complain that I am shorter than a specific friend of mine.

28. What is the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you?
Whisper to me at seven in the morning.

29. What is your favorite smell?
The smell of dark chocolate. Makes me forget everything.

30. What's something that really annoys you?
Waking up.

31. What's something you really like?
Chocolates. Coffee.

32. Do you give random hugs and kisses?
I don't find any takers.

33. What's the latest you have ever stayed up?
At a stretch? Almost 36 hours.

34. Have you ever been rushed to the emergency room?
Never been to an emergency room.


Jaah! Shesh! Aar ki kora jaay bhabi :(

Holde molaaT

Bangla panus have always amazed me. The extremely interesting descriptions of the human body, the very peculiar sound effects and the wonderful titles, what more could you possibly want? I still remember the first book I read. It was called "Shashurir Joubon". During the school days, with no cd's or dvd's handy, these books were all we got. We used to get them from footpaths in College street, outside Shealdah railway station and later from old book sellers in Golpark. But we still were oblivious of things more worthy than these books. We didn't know bangladeshi panu books existed. Now, thanks to the wonderful thing called internet, we have access to the treasury of Bangladeshi panus. And god, they are the most raw and purest of literatures. They are works of art in themselves. The minute I am moved by the narrative in "Foxy begum saheba", I go on to read "Jounotar bondore nishidhho sukh" and wonder silently at the sheer creativity of the author. I really wish these authors will get their due credits someday. I, for one, would never forget their contributions in contemporary bengali literature.

And I am particularly happy because someone I know also writes bangla panu in her blog. Go and see if you can find them :D

I have suspected it for long. Now I have proof. Alcohol does open the floodgates of my creativity. I have been planning to write this short story for the last two months. I know exactly what I want to write. But somehow, I couldn't decide on the how part. Last night, a peg of Jack on the rocks and voila! I hope to finish it in a few days time and send it to where I want.

P.S: IIM Indore released their yearly online puzzle Klueless 4 a few days back. And I am already loving it. Those interested can check at Klueless . All the best.

This must be the end. I am sure. In a few days I will either drift to complete insanity or die. I can tell. The sign, is, here.
Oh about the sign, I spent an hour on my bed, turning all possible ways, trying all possible postures and still couldn't sleep.

Did I mention I bought myself these two large size posters?


And as a result got the below for free. Yay!!



I watched Amir Khan's new film "Ghajini"s trailer. Its supposedly a hindi remake of Nolan's "Memento" where Amir puts on a blue shirt and dances around on a sea beach and sings romantic songs. So much so for Nolan's ass. Anyway, the trailer turned out to be a good comic relief as I fell off my chair laughing. And now, some persons may come after me and actually try to kill me as I write out the next sentence. "Taare zameen par" seems to have been chosen as India's oscar entry which goes on to show why we haven't won any in all these years. And to think of it, the selection committee in all probabiliies haven't even heard of "No smoking". At this point of time, I say "peace!" and talk about other not-so-controversial things.

I dreamt that I had won the first prize in a bangladeshi quiz show hosted by Chandril Bhattacharya and received a free tram ticket to Dhaka downtown. I had no idea whether the bangladeshi's were aware of the uptown, downtown concept till I came across this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tv-eTzb2BH4

Wonderful creation, this.

My closest buddy called me up and proudly announced "dude, you'll never be on the right side of 25 again".

Few minutes later, he again said "in 5 more years, you'll be 30!". Well, thanks for the breaking news.

I always thought I was the king of pimples. I mean, I am 25 and still the pimples refuse to leave my pockmarked face that resembles the dark side of the moon. But yesterday I saw my Taiwanese roomie had a pimple as big as my right ball. He had to go to a health center and get a plaster on it. And he is like 29 years old!

I had the wrong notion that I can still gulp down 750ml of whiskey in a single night. I could manage only half of it. And fell asleep.

I watched the India Australia ongoing test match for 10 mins. India were cruising at 85 for no loss. At the end of that 10 min period, India were 101 for 3 wickets.

When everyone was going berserk over Mr.Obama's victory and crying to his wonderful speech, I was busy watching "Who's nailin Paylin".

I am old. And I am a loser.

Please pray for me :(

The silver jubilee!

Happy birthday to me! And screw the world, for what I care. I give a rat's ass as to who remembers it and who doesn't. Its my birthday and I am loving it.

Ok, this is creepy. For the first time in my life, I woke up in the middle of the night screaming "no! no!" with my hands stretched out. I saw a dream. A weird one. There was this "sinister" looking woman in my house. She had already influenced my parents and was trying to control my thoughts, trying to hyptonise me. I tried fighting her with my mind. I couldn't. As she gained control over my mind, in a desperate attempt to fight back I stretched out my arms and shouted "no! no!". That is when I woke up. And I couldn't sleep for another hour. The dream stayed with me. Vividly. And I have never been scared before. Not of dreams, not of anything. Never. So, why now? Is this the breaking point?

I guess I will put off my daily dose of horror films for a few days.

Kahani puri Filmi hai

This be an advertisement. I, now have another blog. Which btw, is an exclusive film blog. You can read it at:

Film Eater's Washbasin

Being the film snob that I am, I shall preach cinema there and make these effing-film-illiterates see light :D

I need no sunshine to make me happy. Unexpected early morning conversations or mere ten minutes of casual banter are more than enough. These are times when I absolutely love my life.

A name is all I craved. Turns out that I was wrong. Totally. Certain things should never be named. They find their own identities.

Hence, I rest my case. And hope. I will either see light with time or see myself break. Bothways, the journey matters. And I will make it as beautiful as possible.

A beautiful life.

A few snapshots of my second year at Rutgers:

1) I still don't feel like going to classes. I do go, though.

2) I have to work for money. I am now a teaching assistant or a TA.

3) I have no fucking idea of what I am supposed to do as a TA. And its already second week into the semester.

4) I know what I am not supposed to do though. Guess what? I am not supposed to sleep with any of my hot skimpily clad undergraduate students. That is the first thing they told at the TA orientation program!

5) I am taking a course in statistical genetics. Fancy, eh? The genetics part, I only know how to spell it. The statistical part, not much more than the spelling either.

6) Everyone around me seems to be engaged in an international level conspiracy to make me eat broccolis. And I fucking hate it!

7) I get acidity whenever I drink beer!

8) Since I have some antacids at my disposal, I still drink beer. Lots of it. And get splitting headaches and get sleepy. Then I have coffee to make the headache go away. In the whole process I also make the sleep go away. Hence, I tend to remain awake till 4 or 5 in the morning. Unhealthy, to say the least.

9) I religiously call up people who are not very keen on speaking with me.

10) I found out a kati roll place in Rutgers, spent 5$ on a beef tikka roll that is smaller than my "thing" and still boasted about my feat to people back in Kolkata. How pathetic can you get!

11) And I have no better work to do than solving a random online puzzle and writing all this at the middle of the night. Ciao!

Dhusssssss.........

Kissu bhallagchhe na :( :( :( :(

Some jokes are meant to be funny...

.........But he isn't.



This summer be scared. Be VERY scared. Of his jokes. Of his looks. Of his claps. Of his phone calls. And of his pencil disappearing tricks. Because this summer onwards evil has a new name. And it's spelt as JOKER!!!! Not Max Cady, Jack Torrance, Hannibal Lecter, Alex or Anton Chigurh. But JOKER.

I have always thought of Nolan as the best storyteller of present day Hollywood. Not only because he made Memento. But because he dared to make The Following and also because he made Batman Begins. Which, before TDK happened, was the best superhero film I have ever seen. I also maintained that with Christian Bale, Hollywood is in able hands. And boy, did they deliver in TDK! Alongwith the ever charming Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman and the otherwise stone-faced Aron Eckhart, who btw is wonderful as Harvey Two face, they make TDK one of the most visually stunning experiences on screen. And the best superhero film. Ever. I won't go into discussing the technicalities or the crooked storyline or any other details. Because this is not a review but a gushfest. As this, is the only film that has not lived up to the hype it created, but actually surpassed it. This is the only sequel I have seen that is better than the original. And after this, superhero films won't be the same ever. TDK has redefined a genre. And in style.

There was this another person called Heath Ledger who was supposed to have played a major role in the film. I didn't see him though. But I did see Joker. This guy called Jack Nicholson once crossed a line and saw himself become a caricature. The Joker walked the line between true evil and humor. That too with a smile on his face. For us, the ladies and gentlemen, he"ll not only be tonight's entertainment but true embodiment of evil that"ll haunt us. Forever.

Om "Shanti Home"

It all started one fine evening in Olypub. It hasn't ended yet. And it won't. Never.

As we were merrily drinking along and enjoying the beefsteaks and chicken-a-la-kievs someone said "lets plan a trip together". Everyone nodded in drunken unanimity. Little did we know what awaited us. Three to four days later, it suddenly occurred to me that my uncle has an empty house in Shantiniketon. Phone calls followed. Then there were a lot of persuasions, plannings, apprehensions. And one fine afternoon eight friends were waiting at Howrah station for the Howrah Maldah Town Intercity Express. Not that everyone was equally well acquainted with the others. But everything changed in the two days to follow. The journey, the anecdotes, the "chhoRanos", the wonderful house, the booze, the weed, the drunken stupors and the list could go on forever. But again, that would only be a list. The experience, I don't have words to describe it. I fail utterly to express how it felt to be completely drenched in the rain and splash around in the breathtakingly gorgeous Kopai river. That too with five beautiful women :P I search around for words when after midnight amidst all the inebriations, someone sits up straight and with closed eyes starts singing "aamar nishitho raat-ero baadol dhara". And there were also the "bangla panu" reading sessions by the candlelight, the erotic "mohuay jomechhe aaj mou go" dancings, the "chaa" and "aloor chop" rendezvous' at a roadside "jhupRi" and spending the last evening in Prinsep ghat watching a magnificent sky glorified further by a sad sun setting. The two days changed eight lives. Forever. Only time will tell whether we'll all be friends in the future too. But there always will be a part of each one of us that will crave for the seven others. Some figments of memories that will remain, some little things that will make us laugh even after twenty years. And Shantiniketon will always be a place we would associate with us, a place that formed an inexplicable bond between eight people. And I already miss that place.

Everything that goes up, comes down. But everyhting that starts doesn't end. This IS it. We plan to do this again and again. But whether we do or not, we'll relive the memories. Time and again. OM "SHANTI HOME" to that.

P.S: For those ineterested you can see the pictures at
1) http://picasaweb.google.com/tapabratabanerjee/Shantiniketan
2) http://picasaweb.google.com/bichienator/ShantiniketonTrip

Pity is very much the last fucking thing I ask for. Ever.

Of food and losing weight

There was once a time when I weighed around 110 kgs. Until two weeks ago I weighed 74 kgs. Everyone kept asking me how I could lose almost 40 Kgs in about two years. And I kept saying that its all due to my exercise regime which consisted of running around 2 miles, 3 to 4 days a week(the "mile" also helped flaunt my American connection, though it doesn't help much :-( ). Another reason that I didn't mention was the food. Not that I ate less or skipped meals or ate less healthy food. But notably for the last three years I have been mostly living away from home. Not that I am complaining. Everyone needs to stay away from home at least for a year or so. It enriches your experiences, helps you become truly independent and most importantly of all, allows you to booze as much as you want. For teetotallers it allows you to smoke as much as you want. For teetotallers and non smokers, God Help You! That apart, I was talking about staying away from home. Now, the single most important thing about it is you don't get food cooked by your mom. Which sucks. Bigtime. My mom cooks excellent food. I am sure that everyone else's mom also does. But the taste is quite immaterial in our present discussion. Its the very fact that its home made concerns us. I have been home about two weeks. And I have already gained around 5 kgs and developed a cute little pot shaped belly. Now my old denims fit. But that also means I can't buy new ones. And this little observation about my gain in weight made me reallize that the most important factor behind losing weight is not being able to have home made food.
A lot of people around me have been trying to lose weight. If you are reading this, take my advice. Stay away from home for about an year and see the result. And I won't even charge you for the advice. The good hearted chap that I am :-)

P.S: I had wonderful biryani in a shabby place in Baruipur. Golbari reopened. My mother's recovered completely and is in a cooking spree. Looks like I will be my old self when I go back in another two months.

Homecoming.

10 months and 10 days. Exactly. And I was coming back home. Long flight. Bandhs. Long waits . Delayed trains. Then two faces peeking in from the window. And two more standing eagerly at the doorsteps of the old house. I don't ask for nothing else.

And then there's the city. Nothing's changed. Really. Except for some faces. And that's the way I like it.

I have come back to life :-)

Another tag.

I didn't get tagged this time. But on reading this here, I decided to do it myself. Not because it looked interesting but I had nothing better to do. So there you go.

1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER?
Tare Zameen Par. I want half of my money back.

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
Theory of point estimation by E.L.Lehmann. Its actually pretty interesting.

3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
Ludo. The usual one. And I hate saap-ludo. I always find the snake. :(

4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?
Used to be Anandamela and MAD. Nowadays I prefer Maxim.

5. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Wet earth, any variety of alcohol, ChNapa ful-er gondho, LyangRa aam. And I absolutely love the way my mother smells.

6. FAVORITE SOUND?
The sound of silence. :D On a serious note, the sound of my watch ticking away. I love to listen to it, observe it as each second rushes by.

7.WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD:
Humiliation. I can’t live with it.

8.FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP?
“Shoot! Why? Why? WHY??!!”

9. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
Tough one. It can be Hot Kati Roll, maybe Humro Momo. But, I think I would go with Aadi Maloncho in Haatibagan. Heavenly chicken kabirajis! *drools*

10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME:
If it’s a boy then “ghonTa” and if it’s a girl then “pNuTi”. Btw, when I was primary school, there was this hugely popular Bengali song “pNuTir maa pNuTir maa, pNuTike biye korbo na” :D :D

11. FINISH THIS STATEMENT.
"If I had a lot of money I would...buy myself a beach house and spend the rest of my life relaxing on a hammock with beers and steaks on the table beside.

12.DO YOU DRIVE FAST?
I don't drive.

13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
WTF????!!!!!!

14. STORMS-COOL OR SCARY?
Very very cool.

15. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
As far as I remember I got a tractor and a fire engine together. This reminds me that according to my grandparents, unlike other kids who learn to speak “baba”, “ma” etc first, my first words were “gaayiii”. :P

16. FAVORITE DRINK?
Good scotch. On the rocks.

17. FINISH THIS STATEMENT,
"IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD... sleep more. I don’t get enough sleep nowadays. I stay awake for almost 9-10 hours every day. :(

18. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI?
Huh! I am chlorophyllophobic.

19. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?
I like my hair as it is. Thank you.

20. NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS YOU HAVE LIVED IN.
Calcutta, Kanpur, Piscataway.

21. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Soccer all the way.

22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU:
She’s the most random talker I’ve seen. And in the nicest possible way.

23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
The carpet, I guess.

24. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN?
Absolutely. I totally love myself.

25. MORNING PERSON, OR NIGHT OWL?
Late night owl.

26. OVER EASY, OR SUNNY SIDE UP?
Sunny side up.

27. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX?
My bed.

28. FAVORITE PIE?
Chocolate pecan pies and chocolate fudge pies.

29.FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Chocolate. I gorge on chocolate fudge brownie.

30. OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU TAGGED THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST?
I really don’t know. I am very bad at guessing. :(

I have an exam tomorrow morning. And another one, a big big one in just a few days time. And I am up at 2:00 in the night doing good for nothing tags. I tag the short one, the tall one and the nymph. I really hope at least one of them does this. So that at my deathbed I will get some solace knowing that my effort didn't go in vain. Ohh, and methinks the last line makes me a suitable candidate for the post of the scriptwriter for the next Ekta Kapoor mega.

The science of sleep.

My blog's been asleep for some time. People who don't know me very well may jump at this stage and say "aren't you a PhD student? I bet you were busy with TA duties and project submissions and exams and what nots". People who know me quite well may nod their heads wisely and say "you must have been watching a lot of films lately". And people who are smart enough to read the title of the post would just give a knowing smile and continue reading about my sleeping stories. Yes, my blog was sleeping because I have been sleeping. A lot. Literally, a lot. I have been going to bed really early these days. Like around 2, 2:30 in the night. Which is btw, by my standards, EARLY. I wake up around 10 in the morning. Have breakfast and go back to sleep at 11:00. Then I wake up at 3:30 only by the noise of someone calling me on gtalk (which, is a wonderful thing in itself). After coming back from class I take another short nap of two hours duration. And then again at 2, I feel I should go to bed early. This has been pretty much my routine over the last two weeks. And I am worried.
Come on, I have every right to worry. Not that I slept less before. I have always had it in me. My friends used to kick me to wake me up. Sometimes, spray ice cold water. I could sleep for 16 hours at a stretch. Without any intoxicants. Actually contrary to popular beliefs, intoxicants if taken in ample amounts reduces your normal sleeping hours. Hostel life taught me that. Hostel life can be very educational. Even if you skip all the classes. I also learnt that sleep and hunger go hand in hand. If you are asleep, you generally don't feel hungry. If you are hungry, you feel sleepy. Morale of the story: if you are a single student living away from home and one night you don't have anything cooked for dinner and you've run out of maggi, lie down and close your eyes; you'll have the best sleep ever. This, I have perfected over the years.
Okay, I hereby list some more points about sleeping that everyone should know.
1) Coffee in the morning only makes you feel like taking a shit. Coffee in the night makes you all the more sleepy. So "coffee helps you keep awake" is a misconception. Advice: don't drink coffee if you have an early morning exam.

2) Insomnia is not a disease. It just signifies that you don't read. Or at least make the effort.

3) Films keep you awake. Good films, you wonder how good can it possible get and bad films, you speculate if the next scene is going to make it a better film than "Jodha Akbar". Nevertheless, they keep you awake. Advice: if you have an exam next day and need to stay awake to study, try watching films all throughout the night.

4) This is for boys only: don't let your parents come to your room before you wake up; or at least use a blanket, otherwise the poor fellas could be traumatized.

5) Sleeping is very inspirational. Seeing other people sleep gives you very innovative ideas. I shalt not emphasize further or else some people may try to get back at me real hard.

6)Sleeping increases your creativity. One of my friends used to dream about how to clear the difficult stages of computer games. And those tricks worked. Really. I, personally dream about things like the third world war where everyone dies. Only Sachin Tendulkar and Adolf Hitler survive and start playing some sort of a "identify the dead man" game.

7) I don't have any idea why some people refer to the act of having sex as "sleeping". I mean when two people are doing it(as Phoebe would say) the last thing they do is sleep. And by "last thing" I intended on a pun, if you didn't get it.

Thats all I can cook up right now. So much so for sleeping. All this writing and thinking and making up random stuff makes me all sleepy again. I will thus get back to hibernating. Wish you all happy sleeping!

Geror Khata

I have always believed that the journey called life is filled with small pebbles of happiness. All you have to do is pick out the right ones. The sultry siren will bear testimony to this. Besides that she's going to hurl some choicest abuses at me for calling her a siren. I still, stand for the truth. That apart, after a week full of depression and peculiar feelings about whatever's been going on around me, I am happy once again. Ummm, happy would be an understatement. Rather, I am ecstatic, jubilant, elated etc. After a lot of effort, lot of criticism, hindrances and a little bit of help from a few people who care, its finally out there. The second issue of our very own web magazine "Geror Khata" was officially published two days ago. We have been putting a lot of effort into publicity since then. And getting some rave reviews too. It can be viewed at
http://gerorkhata.net/
If you drop by this blog please please go through the magazine too. And let us know whatever you think of the effort. Praises, brickbats, we are ready for everything. And we are also ready for some inputs in the form of prose, poetry, features, photos and drawings for our third issue which will be coming out latest by this June. Please get them coming at gerorkhata@gmail.com.

Shit happens. Which makes the load of crap called life even crappier. I feel stripped, robbed of my own space. Insecurity has never loomed larger than this. Never. Someone said "even this shall pass". Which, I know. But the suspicions will remain. Forever.

P.S: For those who don't know, my email id's been hacked, my personal mails, chats read and a lot more things done with them. And all this, by someone who is, in all certainties, quite close to me.

Clothing et al.

Unlike other guys I actually like shopping. I like to go around malls, try out fancy looking tee's and jeans. I even like to buy a few if I have the money. Just a few days before I left Kolkata, I was in Camac Street Pantaloons along with one of my friends. I was looking to buy a watch for myself, and she was looking for one for her boyfriend. After we were done with the watches, another guy came along. Me and him, we were browsing through the men's section for almost half an hour. The girl got so frustrated that when she saw us discussing which Jockey underwear to wear to work, she blurted out "jockey kinis na. amar boyfriend bolechhe jockey-r elastic baaje. alga hoye giye sob dholdhol kore. taarche Hanes ken. tight thakbe". Which literally translates as "Don't go for jockey. My boyfriend said that their elastic's no good and becomes saggy soon. Go for Hanes instead, it keeps everything in place".
Unsolicited advice, I must say. :-|

So, it has been a lean phase for me after I ended up in New Jersey. In these seven months I have managed to buy only a jacket for myself. The jacket, I don't like much. Its pretty warm. But it makes me look fat. Come on, I have lost about 30kgs in two years. And still, when I wear this jacket I look like I weigh over a 100kgs. One of my friends saw me wearing the jacket and said "What the hell were you wearing? A canopy?" I refuse to wear it anymore. Anyone wants to buy a nice, warm, good looking, rarely used jacket? Er, what was I saying? Yeah! I haven't managed to buy any clothing for myself in these seven months. In other words, I haven't had anything new to wear in these seven months. And now, Dreamy asks me to do this fun and nostalgic sorta tag, which I enjoy doing, and suddenly everyone wants to buy me new pair of pants. So, lets see. I've an offer for a pair of pink pants, green pants, purple pants and even "bashonti" colored pants. So that makes four new pairs of pants. Ohh, I so love you people. And I so love the tag. And I am so thankful to the girl who tagged me , I may even offer her the pink pair.

And yes, I have made up my mind. From now on, whenever I need a new tee or a new pair of jeans I am going to do the tag all over again. Fellow bloggers are nice people, you know. :-D

Tagged !!

I have been tagged. By dreamy doodle do. So much has been happening recently that I couldn't decide which one incident to write about. Whether it should be about the 21$ I lost out in a casino in Atlantic City, or the worst hangover I ever had from excessive drinking or my Albanian friend whose laptop I formatted and can't make it work again, I simply had no idea. Now the tag thing solves the problem. And in any case, my quota of cribbing about my ohh-so-pathetic life is filled. :-P So onto the tag..........forward march.

Life ten years ago:

Was pretty simple. School was about everything my world consisted of. The journey in a chartered bus, fighting with kids from other schools, getting late into the first class everyday, standing half of the day in front the Principal's room, running around and creating a whole lotta ruckus with my huge group of friends during the tiffinbreak and what not. Puberty was settling in, we were becoming more and more interested in "late night movies" in local cable channels and graphic discussions of several human organs. The girls we have been studying with since the very childhood suddenly started putting on weight, at the right places and before we knew, they were young ladies. And we were those confused brats who had no clue about what's going on and kept fighting over some girl we liked. Then there was cricket. All types. Plastic balls, paper balls, "cambis" balls, rubber balls, deuce balls, you name it we tried it. Everyone used to put a lot of effort in the cricket field. Not because there was a tremendous hype with the resurgence of "Dada", but only because the guys who played well got some more attention from girls. :P Nowadays, I don't even watch cricket. And I don't remember the last time I played a serious game myself. Yeah! Ten years is a looooooooong time. :-(

Life Five years ago:

I was a second year student in St.Xaviers, Kolkata. I loved my college. I spent most of it in the canteen or in the common room, playing carrom. The rest were spent in drunken sessions in Olypub and relentless "bridge" playing sessions in Victoria Memorial or GoRer MaTh. I dated a girl, who did nothing other than calling me, for a few months. Then she demanded that I marry her and that was the end. I weighed around a 110kgs, sported a really fearsome frenchcut and didn't expect any better girl to date me. Still, I was perfectly happy with my life. I wish I could say that now too. :P

Life tomorrow:

Will be good. Really good. I have only one class of duration one hour in the morning. And the rest of the day I can sleep. Or even daydream. Or maybe cook chicken masala for myself.
On second thoughts, I would rather stick to sleeping and daydreaming.

Five locations I would love to run away to:

1)Kolkata
2)New York City( it sooooo reminds me of Kolkata)
3)Shantiniketon(with my friends, a car and a lot of booze)
4)Honnah Lee(I miss my school days. I don't wanna be Jacky Pepper :( )
5)Dikshunyopur(wherever that may be)

Five bad habbits I have:

1)Procrastination. I was born lazy.
2)Bunking classes. I do that for no apparent reasons.
3)Overestimating my capabilities. I will have to stop leaving the studying till an hour before the finals. I WILL HAVE TO!
4)Thinking a lot about stuff I can't possibly do.
5)Telling the wrong things to wrong people. I have fucked up big time because of this. And I don't want a repeat show.

Five things I will never wear:

1)Monkey caps.......I would rather have my nose fall off from frost bite.
2)Fluorescent green shirts........my mother once tried to make me wear one. I tore it. :-|
3)Body hugging tee-s........simply because I don't quite have a physique worth showing off.
4)Pants which are not blue, black or maybe some shade of khaki..........I had a red cargo pant once upon a time. I wore it once or twice. They are aesthetically jarring. Really.
5)Moonglasses or whatever they are called.........you know, the lighter shade sunglasses some dumbheads wear all night long . I abhor them. Completely.

Five biggest joys at this moment:

1)Some of my writings have been published. Yay! Mostly in webzines and one in the printed edition of a little magazine. Double Yay!
2)I finally have a camera of my own. I have wanted a good digicam since like forever. Now that I have it, I am really happy.
3)I haven't had a haircut for 6 months. And for the first time in my life I actually can tie my hair into a nice little ponytail. How good is that!
4)That other day a young mexican waitress said that she can't tell whether I'm over 21 and wanted to see an age proof. That was the MOST unbelievable thing to happen in recent times. She actually might have liked me. :D
5)I am negotiating with a travel agent presently. For the air ticket back to home. And that very thought is more than enough reason to make me happy.


Something to achieve by next year:

A Masters degree and a good advisor.

Something that impacted me last year:

A somebody rather. Lets leave it at that.

What will I miss about 2007:

Just those random aDDa sessions in the three months I stayed in Kolkata. And nothing else.

Five things I want to do before I die:

1)Watch every good film ever made. I am doing fine till now. And make at least one myself.
2)Write two books. One on statistics and the other, an anthology of my poetry.
3)Buy my parents a new house.
4)Visit a few places like Paris, Athens, Venice and Bueinos Aires with somebody I will be in love with. :P
5)Watch Manchester United rip the arses off the Arse-anals in Old Trafford. From the stands of course( I can see it on Tv every single year, thats no big deal). RED TILL I DIE !!!!!!

That was long! Phew! I refuse to suffer alone. So I tag Jhumu, Bimbo , The Nymphetamine and whoever wants to do it. Ciao !

A rather pornographic letter.

The new year didn't exactly have the most interesting start. In fact, its got to be one of the most boring new years I have ever had, Or will have, ever. The campus bus-es weren't running, I being a poor poor grad student, didn't have a car; as a result the liquor shop wasn't quite accessible, it was effing cold, my internet connection got screwed; and for some strange reason I, of all persons, deleted my goddamn orkut account. The resultant of so many different vectors can be difficult to find at times. In this case though, the answer's quite elementary. BOREDOM! A faint ray of hope as we made plans to go to Washington DC. As luck would have it, even that plan didn't work out. Sigh! The year was twenty four days old and yet I had nothing happening in my life that I could blog about.
Now there are persons who don't need things happening to blog. Some blog about ad jingles they used to hum as kids, some about trash cans, some about surreal imageries they cook up concerning dust particles or whatever. And all I can manage to do is go and try some wisecracks at their sincere efforts. Gosh! I am so pathetic. :-(
Ahh, come the twenty fifth day and something out of the box happened. Finally. In the afternoon I went up to my mail box and found a letter with "urgent" written on the envelope. I hurried back home and tore up the envelope. Inside was a self addressed return envelope and a strip of paper. I read the paper once, couldn't believe my eyes, read it twice , couldn't believe it still. It said if I signed the paper and sent it back in that envelope provided, some generous company is going to send me three dvds full of hardcore xxx porn! And that too, for free! Can you beat it? :-D
And alongwith the porn, I also had something to write about. For free, again.


P.S: Ohh, just in case you were interested. Though good porn can be a nice way to kill boredom, I didn't send back the form. Instead, I opened a new orkut account.